"La Fawnduh" and Me

We watched Napoleon Dynamite at Bob's birthday party. That is one weird movie. While I really am not all that into dumb humor I couldn't help but laugh and then wonder why I was laughing. Maybe it is because I could identify with Napoleon a little bit. Just a little. While I am no Summer Wheatly I think it is safe to say I am a little higher on the cool scale than Napoleon, but maybe I am over estimating my social standing. I never really payed much attention to "La Fawnduh"before but this time I felt drawn to her.

You wouldn't think "La fawnduh" and I would have something in common. But we do, when it comes to our men anyway. Not them personally - I have got a wonderful, hardworking, good looking, intelligent, kind man who is the envy of all the neighborhood - or at least he should be. And she has Kip - who is anything but any of those things... But Rick and Kip have one thing in common, their love of technology. They both spends hours online - admittedly Rick is working- not chatting with hot babes. But both their worlds seem to center on technology. In fact "La Fawnduh" has even got one up on me - while Kip admits he loves technology he sings about how he loves her more. Rick, I'm not so sure about. I used to think I was the love of his life, but then came along his droid. I am beginning to suspect he loves her more. Which isn't' all that hard to understand, she is amazing. His droid does it all, texts, calls, tracks, searches, takes pictures and video, streams music and movies, plays games and much much more. With a caress of her face or the sound of your voice she will find you anything you ever dreamed of. Truly she can make "all your wildest dreams" come true.

I really do think she has made it to the top of his list. After all she is the last thing he touches at night and he rolls over and reaches for her first thing every morning. While it used to be me he reached for each morning now it his droid laying right there in my place - literally. I used to have the right side of the bed but that all changed when the droid came. She needs to be plugged in each night to the computer. My side of the bed, (definitely the best side,) was closer to the computer... and the window and the clock and further from the noise, and the light and the door. So I got ousted, now Rick sleeps on the right side so he can sleep next to her.

It is not only in bed that she took over my place. Date night became a thing of the past. I got sick of going to a restaurant and watching Rick play with his phone, sitting across the table silently eating my dinner while he looked things up, checked him mail or sent a text. So I started refusing to go. At first I told him I wouldn't go to dinner, I thought a movie would be safe. Well he wore a hat and when the movie started he took it off and used it to shield the light from his phone so he could still use her while the movie was playing without getting kicked out of the theater. It wasn't' as bad as dinner since at least I was entertained, but I still felt like a third wheel. So I decided enough was enough. I swore I would not go out with him unless he left his phone home. He flatly refused. Valentines Day came and went. I missed my annual Valentines Day date that I look forward to each year. About 2 months later we finally compromised. I agreed to go to dinner with him if he left his phone in his pocket. It went ok. He only reached for it once, but one look from me and he put it back. It is not like I am asking him to be totally unreachable. I offered to let him carry my phone. But mine just doesn't do it for him. It is just a regular phone. Although I just recently got a texting plan which thrilled Rick. You see now Rick doesn't' have to focus his attention on me if I need to ask him something. It is a lot easier to just read a text from me and see what I want rather than have to stop what he is doing and focus on me. Well as his wife I miss the days when we wanted to stop what he was doing and focus on me. I hope someday those days might return, but if technology keeps advancing the way it has been I'm afraid it is a lost cause. I'm afraid technology has replaced me as the love of his life - 'Always and Forever."