Friday, September 2, 2011

Mop, Janitors and Washers

Don't wash your mop. If it stinks don't use it just throw it away. Because there is nothing worse than a whole house that smells like dirty rag. It is funny how a little thing like a mop can cause me so much stress.

It has been about 3 or 4 years now since I got my mop. I hate it. I guess it is an ok mop, as far as mops go. Rick bought it for me. It is pretty big and came in a huge yellow bucket with a ringer thing. It looks exactly like the one the janitor at my elementary school use to push around.

I was out of town when Rick bought it. I came home and saw it and almost started to cry. We needed a new one, the old mop was awful it really was. After I was done mopping I had to sweep my floor to get all the little strands of mop that had fallen off. I was down to maybe 20 little strands left. It wasn't worth using, that is why I just filled up my sink with hot water and ammonia got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed it. It worked but I hated every minute of it. So I wanted a mop, a swiffer mop to be exact. I told Rick this, he shrugged his shoulders, I took this as approval. So I was saving my pennies to buy one.

While they aren't that expensive I just couldn't make myself spend the money for one. I went to Walmart on two separate occasions for the sole purpose of buying myself a swiffer mop. Put it in the cart and walked around for awhile. That was my downfall because as I was walking around I saw other things we needed so I put them in my cart. After awhile I realized I had more stuff than money. So I put back my wants and kept my needs and went home found a rag got down on my knees and started scrubbing.

This went on for a couple months. Then I went on vacation. When I got home there was the new bright yellow mop bucket with built in ringer. Apparently Rick decided to mop the floor while I was gone. Went to the closet to get the mop and found the stick with 20 strands of yarn and went down to walmart and bought me a mop. He was pretty proud of it. Not only the mop and bucket but the fact that he bought me such a nice present. It was nice I guess, even cost more than a swiffer, but it wasn't' what I wanted. I wanted a swiffer like my friends not a big yellow bucket like my janitor. See, happy smiling housewives with beautifully decorated immaculate home and well behaved children use swiffers. Old, grumpy, fat men with blue coveralls and a wad of keys hanging off their belt use big yellow mop buckets with the built in ringers.

So for the last few years I used the big yellow bucket and every time I drag it out of the garage - because it it too big to fit in my utility closet with the broom - I think of the swiffer I almost had, and my janitor. It is to big for me lift up into the sink and even if I could it wouldn't fit under the faucet. Same thing with the bathtub. So I have to stand next to the sink and use the little squirter hose and try and aim it so the water hit the bucket and squirt. It takes a long time. Which gives me time to reflect on how much I hate my big yellow mop bucket with built in ringer. The mop is so big that it is hard to get all the water out - even with the built in ringer. I am not a small weak woman by any means but it is still pretty hard for me to squeeze the water out. So after awhile the mop starts smelling like dirty rag. You know the smell. Then the kitchen smells like that. Well it got to a point the whole house smelled like dirty rag every time I mopped. I had to plan my mopping around this - making sure I gave myself plenty of time to air out the house before any guest might arrive.

So last week as I was cleaning off the jam and soggy sticky fruit loops that had stuck on my feet as I was walking around my kitchen I decided it was time to mop. So I drug out the mop bucket and looked for a candle to light, it was then that I had a brilliant idea. Why not just not throw the mop head in the washer. So I pulled off the head and stuck it in the washer with hot water, laundry detergent and 2 scoops of oxi clean. I was so excited about the prospect of a clean mop I was smiling like a housewife with a swiffer.

A couple hours later I went down to get the mop. Opened the lid and gasped. There floating in the washer full of scummy water was 1000's of little strands of mop. It stunk too - like burning. I broke my washer. I quickly went upstairs and logged on and typed "Help - my washer won't drain" good old google quickly returned 615000 results in 0.19 seconds. Amazing. After reading several sites on washer mechanics I headed downstairs to repair the washer. Which would have been a lot easier if I could have gotten the top of the washer. I tried using a sturdy putty knife to pry the top off. I slid the knife (actually it was a pocket knife since I don't have a putty knife but it was sturdy) in between the lid and sides and bumped it with my fist. Nothing happened except my fist hurt. I tried for about 1/2 hour and then called Rick. He was frustrated with my questions, I could tell. I could also tell by his polite upbeat suggestion of, "just wait till I get home and I will fix it for you - babe" that he was in a public place where others could be listening in. So I waited.

I didn't say anything about the washer till after dinner. We then went down together and started working on it. He picked up a screw driver wedged it in between the lid and side and bumped it with his fist. The top popped up. We spent the next couple hours trying to figure out how to clean all the strands of mop out of the washer and the drain hose. We broke out the wet dry vac we bought 2 years ago at the Home Depot black Friday sale. It has been sitting in its box on a shelf in the garage waiting for a moment like this. It worked great we sucked up all the water in the washer that hadn't drained and all the water that spilled on to the floor as we tried to clean out the drain hose. And then we sucked up all the water that came gushing out when we forgot to hook the drain hose back up before we tested the washer. It was my job to hold the hose and suck up the water as it came out while Rick was trying to fix the washer. I felt like the hygienist at the dentist office holding the hose sucking up your spit while the dentist drills.

We had about exhausted our washer repair options when we decided to try and clean out one other hose. I stuck my finger in the hole and found a little propeller thing with a whole bunch of mop strands wrapped around it. The propeller couldn't turn. This was the problem. As soon as we freed the propeller thing and cleaned it all out the washer worked like a champ. Yeah!!! my washer was fixed. My mop on the other hand was not only stinky it was a big lump of wet fuzzy strands of yarn. I threw it all away.

Next morning I found a rag got down on my hands and knees and started scrubbing. Rachel asked me what I was doing. I told her mopping the floor. She asked me why I wasn't using the mop. I told her the whole story. She said, "hmm why don't you just order one on the Internet". That is a brilliant idea. If I ordered one on the Internet I wouldn't have to walk around Walmart with a swiffer in my cart thinking about all the other things we needed more than a swiffer. I might actually buy it. Problem is now I have decided I don't want a swiffer. I want a hardwood floor.