We do stink.

A couple months ago I wrote about about how our family stinks. It was a blog post entitled Do we stink? , written on July 10 2010 for anyone who wants to refresh their memory- for those who don't I will sum up. Rick went to David and Megan's house and enjoyed the clean scent there so much that he came to the conclusion that we stink. He obsessed about this for a while, and to this day he always buys me a scent related items anytime a gift is expected of him. Candles and smelly lotion might seem like good romantic gifts for your wife, but knowing they are because my husband thinks I stink kind of kills the romance. He was convinced that we stink but just couldn't tell because we were used to our own smell, and others were too polite to point it out to us.

Well last July we went on a trip to Oregon as we were traveling home Rick hit upon an idea to settle once and for all if we stink or not. We were to walk in the door after being gone for 2 weeks and take a big whiff. If it stunk they we would know we also stink, if not then we were ok. We walked in and sniffed. I about threw up. I was horrified thinking that is how we smell. Well the smell came from a dishwasher that had gotten stopped half way through the cycle and the water had started growing mold and slime and a putrid odor, that combined with the garbage someone, who was assigned, forgot to take out, left our home smelling like a sewer.

Well ever since that experience anytime we come home from being somewhere overnight I make a point to walk in and take a long whiff. We went to Soda Springs for New Years last week and came home and, like always, I sniffed and once again I almost lost my lunch. I walked straight to the dishwasher opened it up and saw clean sparkling dishes and no water on the bottom. I was relieved but realized I had waded through water to get to the dishwasher. THere was water on the kitchen floor, there was water in the halls, there was water in the carpet in the computer room, water in the bathrooms and water leaking down through the ceiling into the basement. It was drain water from where our kitchen sink was overflowing as the dishwasher drained, so it was pretty putrid.

We contemplated cleaning it up but decided we didn't really want to so we called our insurance and they sent out a company to restore it - "like it never happened" - or so their ad promised. Well they tore out drywall, baseboards, carpet padding and linoleum, they drilled holes in the walls and set up about 15 huge fans and a couple dehumidifiers. They told us to keep them on as much as possible and it would be dried in a day or two. They said if it was too noisy to deal with we could turn them off while sleeping or something. Well I vowed we would leave them on every second so we could get it dried and the fans out of the way. The sooner the better I thought. For the next 5 days and nights they hummed, or more accurately screamed, but I never touched the on/off switch. It almost drove me over the edge - they were so loud and so hot. It was 80 degrees in my house with the windows open - in January!! But after 5 long days it finally dried.

I am not sure how they got their little "like it never happened" slogan because my house definitely still looks like something happened. There are holes drilled all along the bottoms of my walls, the carpets are cut up, the base boards are torn off and there are big sections of walls with no drywall. I have been waiting for the insurance adjuster to come to inspect and figure out how much they owe us so we can call in a contractor. The guy has called several times and promised to come out twice - still haven't met him. He is super nice but I am kinda starting to wonder how professional he is. The first time I talked to him he kept pausing and then apologizing saying he wasn't following our conversation well because traffic was bad and he was paying attention to the traffic and not me. Well I am glad he didn't wreck but maybe he should have pulled over to call me instead of call me while driving. He called me again the next day and after a couple minutes of repeating word for word what he said the day before he paused and said - "I feel really dumb for asking this but have I talked to you before" I guess he hadn't made any notes on our file - probably because traffic was so bad, so he had forgotten our conversation. I had to laugh because it was pretty evident that he had his little script down pretty good because it really was almost word for word what he said the previous day. Well he promised to come out Friday morning but I haven't seen hide nor hair of him - hopefully he didn't make a call on the way over to my house and wreck.

So I just took a break for typing this to go in and put my kids to bed. I walked into Rachel and Anna's room and waded through the piles of books, dvd's wii games and other assorted items that used to be on the shelves in the computer room but are now strewn about the girls room awaiting the time when the carpet is fixed and we can put them back where they belong. Over the last week I have put them all back in the boxes multiple times but for some reason they continually get dumped out. Probably because there are so many boxes filled to overflowing that the kids have to move them, or jump over them or sit on them to watch tv and play the wii in there since it too got moved into the girls room during flood clean up. The room is truly stuffed to the gills. The closets are all blocked so the kids can't get in there to put the toys away (how the toys keep getting out is a mystery they can't explain since they swear there is no way into the closet to put the stuff away) My daughters room is often cluttered and even pretty frequently messy - although we usually get it cleaned up every day or two. But it has never been anything like it has the last week - it is way beyond a disaster.

I can't imagine how and more importantly why the whole neighborhood packs themselves in a 10x10 room that is strewn with stuffed animals, naked barbies and clothes more than a foot thick, (And that is just the tiny areas that is not filled with boxes, Rubbermaid totes filled to overflowing and extra furniture) so that they can play wii or watch tv on a 10 year old tv with lines all over it and no sound system. Yet they do - yesterday Taylor and Dallin had a couple friends over, the girls had 2 friends over and Ryans friend all came to watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid and watch each other play wii. Really. It completely baffles me since I know every single one of the friends that were over here have a nice flat screen tv with a wii hooked up to it hanging on their wall in the basement. Yet there they were, sitting on the beds, boxes of books, the barbie house and each other all crowded around a fuzzy tv.

So back to the story - I walk in the room and saw there was clean laundry stacked on the dresser - a frequent and somewhat acceptable occurrence. I opened the top drawer to put a stack away and notice a corn dog sitting on top of a pair of skidded up underwear. Yes a corn dog and poopy underwear in the dresser drawer, have you ever heard of anything more disgusting. No wonder our house stinks. No wonder we stink. Upon further investigation we learned that the kids needed a snack during the Wimpy kid movie. I guess the trash can wasn't as a convenient as the dresser drawer for disposing their half eaten corn dog - or maybe the trash can was just too full of wrappers from the 2 boxes of gogurts the kids had snuck in there to eat while watching their movie. I found the gogurts when pink goo shot out form under my foot as I inadvertently stepped on a half eaten one hidden under some toys. I just had a thought maybe I should feed my kids lunch - they may not feel the desire to sneak food in the bedrooms if I did. I will have to try that. I really do have a problem remembering to feed my kids lunch on the weekends or summer. I figure they can just open the cupboard or fridge and eat something when they get hungry like I do.

Anyway back to my story - so I throw away the corn dog and poopy underwear and dump the top layer of clothes in the drawer into the laundry and go back in to put Rachel to bed. ( A little side note here - I wasn't sure how to spell poopy so Rick told me to google it - the urban dictionary had me rolling - I guess I know where my kids get their love of potty humor) Rachel is a great sleeper - she crawls in her bed- head hits the pillow and for the most part she is dead to the world till about 10:00 in the next morning. Which is wonderful except for the fact that her bladder in not such a good sleeper and needs emptied before 10:00 in the morning. Thank goodness for pull ups at least when we have them - which tonight we don't. I considered what to do- I searched everywhere I could think of for a spare diaper and come up empty handed. It is 10:00 at night so I am hesitant to call a neighbor to borrow one. With all the mess and stink and the dryer that takes 4 cycles to dry I am just not crazy about the prospect of adding another load of wet sheets and blankets to my already 5 to 6 loads of laundry piled up in my laundry room (laundry was completely caught up Friday evening and it is Sunday night just so you know). So I striped the bed and spread some garbage sacks out on it and made her sleep on them. I have to sleep on the trash she said. I think she was actually pretty amused by that because she went around and told everyone and then jumped in bed and wiggled around a bit to hear the plastic crinkle under her. I went ahead and covered her with a couple baby blankets although I didn't want to since I know I will end up washing them in the morning but since it is January I felt it would be cruel to make her sleep without any blankets.

So as I covered her up and started to walk out of the room and it hit me what a loser of a mother I am. We live in an absolute pig stye- my kids have to sneak food into their rooms, and horde it in their drawers because I fail to feed them, they sleep not on sheets but trash bags in a bed they have to wade through ankle high junk to get to. I felt proud of myself for feeding them fruit today - even though it was apple pie, but know there is no way in the world I could even come close to feeding them 5 fruits and vegtables a day like Megan does. I was feeling pretty depressed as I turned out the light but then as I started to walk out of the room I caught what Rachel was humming to herself "I have an excellent Father.... I had the best day with you today." and I realized that even if we were messy we were happy. The neighborhood kids do choose our house to hang out in for a reason, and its not because of what we have, but because of who we are and how they feel when they are with us. At least I hope that's why.