Scouting

It was around 6 years ago that Rick got called to be the Deacons quorum leader and scoutmaster of our ward. He was excited to work with these young boys. There were a handful of them. He loved the calling and loved the boys. On one of his first weeks our neighbor across the street turned 12 - so the quorum planned a little party for him. It was at our house - so I got to watch. All the boys came over and "kidnapped" David brought him over and played games, ate cake and root beer and from all appearances had a great time. I distinctly remember saying to Rick when the boys left. "Never again"- I do not want them in my house ever again. I said this as I was trying to scrub the root beer out of my floor. They were extremely noisy and messy and relatively rude and annoying. By the next Wednesday I had relented. My opinion of them changed over then next few months as the routinely came to my house. I learned to tolerate them, and them like them and I even came to love them. That was about 6 years ago. They were annoying, whinny, messy little 12 year olds. Now they men, or almost anyway. 2 of them are currently serving a mission, 1 more has his call, another is going to school waiting for his 19th birthday so he can put in his papers, and the youngest - of that group, David, will soon turn 18 and graduate from college and then go to BYU.

Last night we went to David's court of honor. He received his eagle. A slide show illustrated his accomplishments and what stuck out to me was his growth. There were pictures of him at 12 - which immediately reminded me of those whinny little annoying deacons who came to my house so many years ago. His father as well as other leaders spoke and talked about what a good man he is. They are absolutely right on. He is an impressive man. He has grown, and developed and become a man to be proud of. Thats what happened in the last 6 years. It seemed so right for him to get the eagle - supposedly the highest rank of scouting. It fit. He spent the last 6 years working towards the highest goal and near the end of his scouting journey he reached it. I was impressed and frankly proud.

Then the bishop spoke and talked about how we have 15 life scouts in our ward and how they very soon will be recieving their eagle. Taylor is one of them. In our ward it is a goal, a fairly new one, that all scouts are a first class by their 12th birthday - that is so they are well on their way to eagle by the time they are 14. At first I thought this was great. I was so excited about gung ho leaders who would jump in and move those boys along. But then I thought about Taylor's court of honor. We could have it in 6 months or so. What we would say about Taylor - what would his slide show illustrate. We would have to talk about how proud we are of the boy Taylor is and how he did what he leaders and his mom told him so he could cross off every little requirement so he could stand up there and get his eagle. The thing is a 14 year old boy is a lot different than an 18 year old. He is simply not a man - I suppose it could be argued that most 18 year old boys aren't either. But there is a big difference. At 14 he has not come to the end of his boyhood journey, he has barely got his first foot on the path. He hasn't had a chance to grow up and become any of those things an eagle scout professes to be - he is working on it maybe - but he is not there yet. And I don't think it is just Taylor.

So I am having a little internal conflict. I really would like the eagle award to mean something. I like the idea of it being the pinnacle of scouting, the highest award, the goal at the end of a long tough journey. But at 14 the journey has barely begun. Taylor is excited to get his eagle. He is excited because then he can quit going to scouts. He is very vocal about this. He does see it as the endpoint. Which it shouldn't be if he gets it when he is 14. But what is the end point then. What is the goal of scouting and YM if the highest award is giving near the beginning of the journey. Maybe its not the eagle. The duty to God award. That sounds good to me - except it certainly isn't touted as that. Not in our ward anyway. A mission call. That is THE goal, for sure, but to see it as a award doesn't strike me as quit right.

So why the big push to get them "done" by 14. So they make sure and get it. Because once a boy gets very much older than 14 he usually isn't too fond of working on merit badges and being a scout. I get that. I know there are a lot of other things that take priority in the mind of a teacher or priest. That is only natural. So lets get it done while we can. Cross that "accomplishment" off the list and move on to bigger and better things. I get that and frankly even agree with it. I guess what I don't agree with is the idea that the "highest award" is the thing they are "getting done" and over with. I doesn't make it seem like it means something.


Maybe an eagle needs to be looked at a little differently. Maybe it's not so great. Maybe its not the award a boy gets when he has become a man. Maybe its an award he gets when he has shown up and tied his knots, trailed his leaders, and successfully copied off the board all those pesky merit badge worksheet answers. I have been increasingly aware of and frustrated with scout leaders - including myself as a mom. I have sat next to my boys in pow wows and pointed to the blank they are supposed to fill in as the teacher pops that power point up with every answer. By the end of the pow wows my boys have earned their badges but the biggest thing they have really learned is how to quickly copy down answers.

But the biggest thing I am frustrated with is that a "scout is honest". Honesty is very important to me. But it is pretty tough to learn to be honest and respect honesty when your leaders aren't, and don't require you to be. Just last night I was sitting next to Taylor's leader. Who I deeply respect. I asked him, mostly for something to talk about, if they had some camp outs planned since Taylor really needs to get some nights in for his camping merit badge. It will be his last merit badge. He is well on his way to finishing up all the others. The leader said they had one planned and it shouldn't be a problem to get them all done if he goes to scout camp. The week long camp they have each summer. It is 5 nights long - that should get him there. Except he already used last years camp towards his 20 nights - I told him, and the merit badge requirements say, pretty clearly, one week long camp counts towards those 20 nights. His leader wasn't aware of that - and smiled and said. Well his scoutmaster can probably approve it anyway. Just like how last summer a leader suggested that our 6 week RV trip was full of camping that should satisfy some camping requirements. First of all we slept in a RV with air conditioning, microwave, electricity and a built in toilet- not under the stars or in a tent that he helped pitch. It was also a family vacation - not a designated scouting activity. That there is the problem. While I don't think that leader or the other leaders who do this kind of thing are trying to be dishonest - but they are being dishonest. When you sign that little blue card it means, or is supposed to mean, they have done EVERYTHING in the requirements, the way the requirements are written. Not just what you think they should be or what is convenient. "Good enough" shouldn't be good enough. Not for a scout. Not for a boy who is trying to become a real man. Not to be honest.

Taylor received his Life award last night. He shouldn't have. It irritated me. He did his service hours, he did his merit badges, he put in his time, and he was "given" a leadership assignment. The assignment was to be one of the "quartermasters" and help buy and maintain any needed supplies for camp outs. Trouble is they never bought in supplies for camp outs during those 6 months. And he never helped maintain anything. His leadership requirement was satisfied by simply writing his name on the blank next to quarter master. That is something to be proud of? He had his scoutmaster review but he did not have his board of review. He just never got around to it. He did call about it a couple times, he scheduled an appointment - that is how they knew to buy the life award for him. But they just brushed past that board of review requirement. It is not all that convenient for a couple leaders to find the time sit and talk about those requirements for a few minutes. I kept telling Taylor - "you can't get your Life if you don't have that board of review and you can't start your time towards eagle till you have the board of review." After the court of honor - with the Life badge in his hand, I once again reminded him he needs to go ask for a board of review. He looked at me like I was crazy and said "why - I have the award - it is right here". Yeah -he had it but he didn't earn it.

Dallin also was given a 2nd class award last night. I don't think he earned it. A couple weeks ago he finished up his last requirement to get his tenderfoot. We have been keeping track in his book. So he called his leader and had a scoutmaster conference. He came home telling me he not only passed off his tenderfoot but also his 2nd class. What I said - you haven't finished all of those requirements. He said - my leader said I did. I pulled out his book and went through them. I asked him, "when did you go on a 5 mile hike". I don't know - was his answer, but my leader said I did. I am thinking a 5 mile hike is something you should remember. I am kind of thinking it is something as his mom I would remember him doing - but if not at least he should remember doing it. He doesn't - but his scout leader does. "What 5 scouting activities - other than troop meetings - have you done". He didn't know. Frankly I don't think his leader does either - but it is a lot easier to sign the thing off that actually hold additional scout activities. The list of "questionable" completed requirements didn't stop there.

I would like to see my boys really accomplish something big during their teenage years. I would like them to look back and say - "wow" I did it and it was hard. I would like it to be significant accomplishment that teaches them something, that means something to them and helps them hurdle that gap between a boy and a man. I guess more and more it's not the eagle. What it is- I am not sure.

Settlement

That stuff on the bottom of a river or pond is called sediment. As a child I thought it was settlement. Maybe that fits better anyway. It is the stuff that is floating in a river that kind of settles to the bottom. I guess I figured if it is the stuff that settles to the bottom it is settlment. I am not really in to geology or whatever science would study such things. So to be honest I really don't know exactly what is in sediment. But it strikes me as kind of the yucky garbage stuff - to big to fly down the river and rise to top. It is that yucky stuff you step in when you wade into a pond or lake. The stuff water shoes were made to protect your feet from. The kind of stuff that settles isn't the stuff that rises to the top. The kind of people who settle aren't the kind of people who rise to the top.

I hate to settle - sometimes it happens, but I hate it. In the past few weeks I have had several conversations with my children about settling. Don't do it- is my basic message. Your to good for settling. Don't stop till you break the surface and you are at the top. Don't stop till you are the best. Good enough isn't good enough. Don't shoot for good, shoot for best and don't stop till your there. I hope they are listening, but I have my doubts. Taylor's grades prove that. Or more specifically Taylor's attitude about his grades prove that.

We had parent teacher conferences this last week. I had Taylor's report card lying on my lap as I sat in line waiting to talk to one of his teachers. The mom next to me was apparently interested in Taylor's grades because she couldnt' keep her eyes off of his report card. Wow - she finally remarked - I wish we had report cards like that. She reached out and showed me her sons report card. I didn't look to hard but I think I saw a C somewhere between all those D's and F's. Taylor got mostly A's, one A- and one B. I am not disappointed in these grades, not in the least. But what I was extremely disappointed in was Taylor's attitude and that of one of his teachers. He had several missing assignments in a couple classes. One teacher pretty much said - oh well- he got some extra credit to make up of it so he is doing fine. Extra credit is pretty easy to come by at Diamond Fork Jr High in the 7th grade. All you have to do is have your mom sign a piece of a paper once a week saying she saw your grades and you get an extra 10 points. While his report card looks great and his gpa is good, looking at a breakdown of all assignments in many of his classes was extremely disappointing. There were several 0's and as I ran my finger along the percentage row I saw lots of 50's and 60's. Which led me to institute a new rule Taylor is not to thrilled about. Anything under a 75% you retake or redo - no matter what your final grade is and no matter if you get credit for or not. Personally I think 75% is pretty lenient. But simply not doing an assignment is not acceptable in my book. And taking a test and getting a 50% on it isn't acceptable - even if all that extra credit still gives him an A. How can an A mean something if the only reason you get it is because you have a mom who reminds you to show her your grades and signs the bottom.

I think we are quickly becoming a nation of settlers - and I am not talking about he pioneers of old. It is becoming to hard to fight to be the best - so we settle for good enough. We let ourselves sink to the bottom. Problem is when we do that we are going to get walked all over - and when someone steps in us they are going to lift up their foot and grimace and then go put on some water shoes.