It was around 6 years ago that Rick got called to be the Deacons quorum leader and scoutmaster of our ward. He was excited to work with these young boys. There were a handful of them. He loved the calling and loved the boys. On one of his first weeks our neighbor across the street turned 12 - so the quorum planned a little party for him. It was at our house - so I got to watch. All the boys came over and "kidnapped" David brought him over and played games, ate cake and root beer and from all appearances had a great time. I distinctly remember saying to Rick when the boys left. "Never again"- I do not want them in my house ever again. I said this as I was trying to scrub the root beer out of my floor. They were extremely noisy and messy and relatively rude and annoying. By the next Wednesday I had relented. My opinion of them changed over then next few months as the routinely came to my house. I learned to tolerate them, and them like them and I even came to love them. That was about 6 years ago. They were annoying, whinny, messy little 12 year olds. Now they men, or almost anyway. 2 of them are currently serving a mission, 1 more has his call, another is going to school waiting for his 19th birthday so he can put in his papers, and the youngest - of that group, David, will soon turn 18 and graduate from college and then go to BYU.
Last night we went to David's court of honor. He received his eagle. A slide show illustrated his accomplishments and what stuck out to me was his growth. There were pictures of him at 12 - which immediately reminded me of those whinny little annoying deacons who came to my house so many years ago. His father as well as other leaders spoke and talked about what a good man he is. They are absolutely right on. He is an impressive man. He has grown, and developed and become a man to be proud of. Thats what happened in the last 6 years. It seemed so right for him to get the eagle - supposedly the highest rank of scouting. It fit. He spent the last 6 years working towards the highest goal and near the end of his scouting journey he reached it. I was impressed and frankly proud.
Then the bishop spoke and talked about how we have 15 life scouts in our ward and how they very soon will be recieving their eagle. Taylor is one of them. In our ward it is a goal, a fairly new one, that all scouts are a first class by their 12th birthday - that is so they are well on their way to eagle by the time they are 14. At first I thought this was great. I was so excited about gung ho leaders who would jump in and move those boys along. But then I thought about Taylor's court of honor. We could have it in 6 months or so. What we would say about Taylor - what would his slide show illustrate. We would have to talk about how proud we are of the boy Taylor is and how he did what he leaders and his mom told him so he could cross off every little requirement so he could stand up there and get his eagle. The thing is a 14 year old boy is a lot different than an 18 year old. He is simply not a man - I suppose it could be argued that most 18 year old boys aren't either. But there is a big difference. At 14 he has not come to the end of his boyhood journey, he has barely got his first foot on the path. He hasn't had a chance to grow up and become any of those things an eagle scout professes to be - he is working on it maybe - but he is not there yet. And I don't think it is just Taylor.
So I am having a little internal conflict. I really would like the eagle award to mean something. I like the idea of it being the pinnacle of scouting, the highest award, the goal at the end of a long tough journey. But at 14 the journey has barely begun. Taylor is excited to get his eagle. He is excited because then he can quit going to scouts. He is very vocal about this. He does see it as the endpoint. Which it shouldn't be if he gets it when he is 14. But what is the end point then. What is the goal of scouting and YM if the highest award is giving near the beginning of the journey. Maybe its not the eagle. The duty to God award. That sounds good to me - except it certainly isn't touted as that. Not in our ward anyway. A mission call. That is THE goal, for sure, but to see it as a award doesn't strike me as quit right.
So why the big push to get them "done" by 14. So they make sure and get it. Because once a boy gets very much older than 14 he usually isn't too fond of working on merit badges and being a scout. I get that. I know there are a lot of other things that take priority in the mind of a teacher or priest. That is only natural. So lets get it done while we can. Cross that "accomplishment" off the list and move on to bigger and better things. I get that and frankly even agree with it. I guess what I don't agree with is the idea that the "highest award" is the thing they are "getting done" and over with. I doesn't make it seem like it means something.
Maybe an eagle needs to be looked at a little differently. Maybe it's not so great. Maybe its not the award a boy gets when he has become a man. Maybe its an award he gets when he has shown up and tied his knots, trailed his leaders, and successfully copied off the board all those pesky merit badge worksheet answers. I have been increasingly aware of and frustrated with scout leaders - including myself as a mom. I have sat next to my boys in pow wows and pointed to the blank they are supposed to fill in as the teacher pops that power point up with every answer. By the end of the pow wows my boys have earned their badges but the biggest thing they have really learned is how to quickly copy down answers.
But the biggest thing I am frustrated with is that a "scout is honest". Honesty is very important to me. But it is pretty tough to learn to be honest and respect honesty when your leaders aren't, and don't require you to be. Just last night I was sitting next to Taylor's leader. Who I deeply respect. I asked him, mostly for something to talk about, if they had some camp outs planned since Taylor really needs to get some nights in for his camping merit badge. It will be his last merit badge. He is well on his way to finishing up all the others. The leader said they had one planned and it shouldn't be a problem to get them all done if he goes to scout camp. The week long camp they have each summer. It is 5 nights long - that should get him there. Except he already used last years camp towards his 20 nights - I told him, and the merit badge requirements say, pretty clearly, one week long camp counts towards those 20 nights. His leader wasn't aware of that - and smiled and said. Well his scoutmaster can probably approve it anyway. Just like how last summer a leader suggested that our 6 week RV trip was full of camping that should satisfy some camping requirements. First of all we slept in a RV with air conditioning, microwave, electricity and a built in toilet- not under the stars or in a tent that he helped pitch. It was also a family vacation - not a designated scouting activity. That there is the problem. While I don't think that leader or the other leaders who do this kind of thing are trying to be dishonest - but they are being dishonest. When you sign that little blue card it means, or is supposed to mean, they have done EVERYTHING in the requirements, the way the requirements are written. Not just what you think they should be or what is convenient. "Good enough" shouldn't be good enough. Not for a scout. Not for a boy who is trying to become a real man. Not to be honest.
Taylor received his Life award last night. He shouldn't have. It irritated me. He did his service hours, he did his merit badges, he put in his time, and he was "given" a leadership assignment. The assignment was to be one of the "quartermasters" and help buy and maintain any needed supplies for camp outs. Trouble is they never bought in supplies for camp outs during those 6 months. And he never helped maintain anything. His leadership requirement was satisfied by simply writing his name on the blank next to quarter master. That is something to be proud of? He had his scoutmaster review but he did not have his board of review. He just never got around to it. He did call about it a couple times, he scheduled an appointment - that is how they knew to buy the life award for him. But they just brushed past that board of review requirement. It is not all that convenient for a couple leaders to find the time sit and talk about those requirements for a few minutes. I kept telling Taylor - "you can't get your Life if you don't have that board of review and you can't start your time towards eagle till you have the board of review." After the court of honor - with the Life badge in his hand, I once again reminded him he needs to go ask for a board of review. He looked at me like I was crazy and said "why - I have the award - it is right here". Yeah -he had it but he didn't earn it.
Dallin also was given a 2nd class award last night. I don't think he earned it. A couple weeks ago he finished up his last requirement to get his tenderfoot. We have been keeping track in his book. So he called his leader and had a scoutmaster conference. He came home telling me he not only passed off his tenderfoot but also his 2nd class. What I said - you haven't finished all of those requirements. He said - my leader said I did. I pulled out his book and went through them. I asked him, "when did you go on a 5 mile hike". I don't know - was his answer, but my leader said I did. I am thinking a 5 mile hike is something you should remember. I am kind of thinking it is something as his mom I would remember him doing - but if not at least he should remember doing it. He doesn't - but his scout leader does. "What 5 scouting activities - other than troop meetings - have you done". He didn't know. Frankly I don't think his leader does either - but it is a lot easier to sign the thing off that actually hold additional scout activities. The list of "questionable" completed requirements didn't stop there.
I would like to see my boys really accomplish something big during their teenage years. I would like them to look back and say - "wow" I did it and it was hard. I would like it to be significant accomplishment that teaches them something, that means something to them and helps them hurdle that gap between a boy and a man. I guess more and more it's not the eagle. What it is- I am not sure.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Settlement
That stuff on the bottom of a river or pond is called sediment. As a child I thought it was settlement. Maybe that fits better anyway. It is the stuff that is floating in a river that kind of settles to the bottom. I guess I figured if it is the stuff that settles to the bottom it is settlment. I am not really in to geology or whatever science would study such things. So to be honest I really don't know exactly what is in sediment. But it strikes me as kind of the yucky garbage stuff - to big to fly down the river and rise to top. It is that yucky stuff you step in when you wade into a pond or lake. The stuff water shoes were made to protect your feet from. The kind of stuff that settles isn't the stuff that rises to the top. The kind of people who settle aren't the kind of people who rise to the top.
I hate to settle - sometimes it happens, but I hate it. In the past few weeks I have had several conversations with my children about settling. Don't do it- is my basic message. Your to good for settling. Don't stop till you break the surface and you are at the top. Don't stop till you are the best. Good enough isn't good enough. Don't shoot for good, shoot for best and don't stop till your there. I hope they are listening, but I have my doubts. Taylor's grades prove that. Or more specifically Taylor's attitude about his grades prove that.
We had parent teacher conferences this last week. I had Taylor's report card lying on my lap as I sat in line waiting to talk to one of his teachers. The mom next to me was apparently interested in Taylor's grades because she couldnt' keep her eyes off of his report card. Wow - she finally remarked - I wish we had report cards like that. She reached out and showed me her sons report card. I didn't look to hard but I think I saw a C somewhere between all those D's and F's. Taylor got mostly A's, one A- and one B. I am not disappointed in these grades, not in the least. But what I was extremely disappointed in was Taylor's attitude and that of one of his teachers. He had several missing assignments in a couple classes. One teacher pretty much said - oh well- he got some extra credit to make up of it so he is doing fine. Extra credit is pretty easy to come by at Diamond Fork Jr High in the 7th grade. All you have to do is have your mom sign a piece of a paper once a week saying she saw your grades and you get an extra 10 points. While his report card looks great and his gpa is good, looking at a breakdown of all assignments in many of his classes was extremely disappointing. There were several 0's and as I ran my finger along the percentage row I saw lots of 50's and 60's. Which led me to institute a new rule Taylor is not to thrilled about. Anything under a 75% you retake or redo - no matter what your final grade is and no matter if you get credit for or not. Personally I think 75% is pretty lenient. But simply not doing an assignment is not acceptable in my book. And taking a test and getting a 50% on it isn't acceptable - even if all that extra credit still gives him an A. How can an A mean something if the only reason you get it is because you have a mom who reminds you to show her your grades and signs the bottom.
I think we are quickly becoming a nation of settlers - and I am not talking about he pioneers of old. It is becoming to hard to fight to be the best - so we settle for good enough. We let ourselves sink to the bottom. Problem is when we do that we are going to get walked all over - and when someone steps in us they are going to lift up their foot and grimace and then go put on some water shoes.
I hate to settle - sometimes it happens, but I hate it. In the past few weeks I have had several conversations with my children about settling. Don't do it- is my basic message. Your to good for settling. Don't stop till you break the surface and you are at the top. Don't stop till you are the best. Good enough isn't good enough. Don't shoot for good, shoot for best and don't stop till your there. I hope they are listening, but I have my doubts. Taylor's grades prove that. Or more specifically Taylor's attitude about his grades prove that.
We had parent teacher conferences this last week. I had Taylor's report card lying on my lap as I sat in line waiting to talk to one of his teachers. The mom next to me was apparently interested in Taylor's grades because she couldnt' keep her eyes off of his report card. Wow - she finally remarked - I wish we had report cards like that. She reached out and showed me her sons report card. I didn't look to hard but I think I saw a C somewhere between all those D's and F's. Taylor got mostly A's, one A- and one B. I am not disappointed in these grades, not in the least. But what I was extremely disappointed in was Taylor's attitude and that of one of his teachers. He had several missing assignments in a couple classes. One teacher pretty much said - oh well- he got some extra credit to make up of it so he is doing fine. Extra credit is pretty easy to come by at Diamond Fork Jr High in the 7th grade. All you have to do is have your mom sign a piece of a paper once a week saying she saw your grades and you get an extra 10 points. While his report card looks great and his gpa is good, looking at a breakdown of all assignments in many of his classes was extremely disappointing. There were several 0's and as I ran my finger along the percentage row I saw lots of 50's and 60's. Which led me to institute a new rule Taylor is not to thrilled about. Anything under a 75% you retake or redo - no matter what your final grade is and no matter if you get credit for or not. Personally I think 75% is pretty lenient. But simply not doing an assignment is not acceptable in my book. And taking a test and getting a 50% on it isn't acceptable - even if all that extra credit still gives him an A. How can an A mean something if the only reason you get it is because you have a mom who reminds you to show her your grades and signs the bottom.
I think we are quickly becoming a nation of settlers - and I am not talking about he pioneers of old. It is becoming to hard to fight to be the best - so we settle for good enough. We let ourselves sink to the bottom. Problem is when we do that we are going to get walked all over - and when someone steps in us they are going to lift up their foot and grimace and then go put on some water shoes.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
We do stink.
A couple months ago I wrote about about how our family stinks. It was a blog post entitled Do we stink? , written on July 10 2010 for anyone who wants to refresh their memory- for those who don't I will sum up. Rick went to David and Megan's house and enjoyed the clean scent there so much that he came to the conclusion that we stink. He obsessed about this for a while, and to this day he always buys me a scent related items anytime a gift is expected of him. Candles and smelly lotion might seem like good romantic gifts for your wife, but knowing they are because my husband thinks I stink kind of kills the romance. He was convinced that we stink but just couldn't tell because we were used to our own smell, and others were too polite to point it out to us.
Well last July we went on a trip to Oregon as we were traveling home Rick hit upon an idea to settle once and for all if we stink or not. We were to walk in the door after being gone for 2 weeks and take a big whiff. If it stunk they we would know we also stink, if not then we were ok. We walked in and sniffed. I about threw up. I was horrified thinking that is how we smell. Well the smell came from a dishwasher that had gotten stopped half way through the cycle and the water had started growing mold and slime and a putrid odor, that combined with the garbage someone, who was assigned, forgot to take out, left our home smelling like a sewer.
Well ever since that experience anytime we come home from being somewhere overnight I make a point to walk in and take a long whiff. We went to Soda Springs for New Years last week and came home and, like always, I sniffed and once again I almost lost my lunch. I walked straight to the dishwasher opened it up and saw clean sparkling dishes and no water on the bottom. I was relieved but realized I had waded through water to get to the dishwasher. THere was water on the kitchen floor, there was water in the halls, there was water in the carpet in the computer room, water in the bathrooms and water leaking down through the ceiling into the basement. It was drain water from where our kitchen sink was overflowing as the dishwasher drained, so it was pretty putrid.
We contemplated cleaning it up but decided we didn't really want to so we called our insurance and they sent out a company to restore it - "like it never happened" - or so their ad promised. Well they tore out drywall, baseboards, carpet padding and linoleum, they drilled holes in the walls and set up about 15 huge fans and a couple dehumidifiers. They told us to keep them on as much as possible and it would be dried in a day or two. They said if it was too noisy to deal with we could turn them off while sleeping or something. Well I vowed we would leave them on every second so we could get it dried and the fans out of the way. The sooner the better I thought. For the next 5 days and nights they hummed, or more accurately screamed, but I never touched the on/off switch. It almost drove me over the edge - they were so loud and so hot. It was 80 degrees in my house with the windows open - in January!! But after 5 long days it finally dried.
I am not sure how they got their little "like it never happened" slogan because my house definitely still looks like something happened. There are holes drilled all along the bottoms of my walls, the carpets are cut up, the base boards are torn off and there are big sections of walls with no drywall. I have been waiting for the insurance adjuster to come to inspect and figure out how much they owe us so we can call in a contractor. The guy has called several times and promised to come out twice - still haven't met him. He is super nice but I am kinda starting to wonder how professional he is. The first time I talked to him he kept pausing and then apologizing saying he wasn't following our conversation well because traffic was bad and he was paying attention to the traffic and not me. Well I am glad he didn't wreck but maybe he should have pulled over to call me instead of call me while driving. He called me again the next day and after a couple minutes of repeating word for word what he said the day before he paused and said - "I feel really dumb for asking this but have I talked to you before" I guess he hadn't made any notes on our file - probably because traffic was so bad, so he had forgotten our conversation. I had to laugh because it was pretty evident that he had his little script down pretty good because it really was almost word for word what he said the previous day. Well he promised to come out Friday morning but I haven't seen hide nor hair of him - hopefully he didn't make a call on the way over to my house and wreck.
So I just took a break for typing this to go in and put my kids to bed. I walked into Rachel and Anna's room and waded through the piles of books, dvd's wii games and other assorted items that used to be on the shelves in the computer room but are now strewn about the girls room awaiting the time when the carpet is fixed and we can put them back where they belong. Over the last week I have put them all back in the boxes multiple times but for some reason they continually get dumped out. Probably because there are so many boxes filled to overflowing that the kids have to move them, or jump over them or sit on them to watch tv and play the wii in there since it too got moved into the girls room during flood clean up. The room is truly stuffed to the gills. The closets are all blocked so the kids can't get in there to put the toys away (how the toys keep getting out is a mystery they can't explain since they swear there is no way into the closet to put the stuff away) My daughters room is often cluttered and even pretty frequently messy - although we usually get it cleaned up every day or two. But it has never been anything like it has the last week - it is way beyond a disaster.
I can't imagine how and more importantly why the whole neighborhood packs themselves in a 10x10 room that is strewn with stuffed animals, naked barbies and clothes more than a foot thick, (And that is just the tiny areas that is not filled with boxes, Rubbermaid totes filled to overflowing and extra furniture) so that they can play wii or watch tv on a 10 year old tv with lines all over it and no sound system. Yet they do - yesterday Taylor and Dallin had a couple friends over, the girls had 2 friends over and Ryans friend all came to watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid and watch each other play wii. Really. It completely baffles me since I know every single one of the friends that were over here have a nice flat screen tv with a wii hooked up to it hanging on their wall in the basement. Yet there they were, sitting on the beds, boxes of books, the barbie house and each other all crowded around a fuzzy tv.
So back to the story - I walk in the room and saw there was clean laundry stacked on the dresser - a frequent and somewhat acceptable occurrence. I opened the top drawer to put a stack away and notice a corn dog sitting on top of a pair of skidded up underwear. Yes a corn dog and poopy underwear in the dresser drawer, have you ever heard of anything more disgusting. No wonder our house stinks. No wonder we stink. Upon further investigation we learned that the kids needed a snack during the Wimpy kid movie. I guess the trash can wasn't as a convenient as the dresser drawer for disposing their half eaten corn dog - or maybe the trash can was just too full of wrappers from the 2 boxes of gogurts the kids had snuck in there to eat while watching their movie. I found the gogurts when pink goo shot out form under my foot as I inadvertently stepped on a half eaten one hidden under some toys. I just had a thought maybe I should feed my kids lunch - they may not feel the desire to sneak food in the bedrooms if I did. I will have to try that. I really do have a problem remembering to feed my kids lunch on the weekends or summer. I figure they can just open the cupboard or fridge and eat something when they get hungry like I do.
Anyway back to my story - so I throw away the corn dog and poopy underwear and dump the top layer of clothes in the drawer into the laundry and go back in to put Rachel to bed. ( A little side note here - I wasn't sure how to spell poopy so Rick told me to google it - the urban dictionary had me rolling - I guess I know where my kids get their love of potty humor) Rachel is a great sleeper - she crawls in her bed- head hits the pillow and for the most part she is dead to the world till about 10:00 in the next morning. Which is wonderful except for the fact that her bladder in not such a good sleeper and needs emptied before 10:00 in the morning. Thank goodness for pull ups at least when we have them - which tonight we don't. I considered what to do- I searched everywhere I could think of for a spare diaper and come up empty handed. It is 10:00 at night so I am hesitant to call a neighbor to borrow one. With all the mess and stink and the dryer that takes 4 cycles to dry I am just not crazy about the prospect of adding another load of wet sheets and blankets to my already 5 to 6 loads of laundry piled up in my laundry room (laundry was completely caught up Friday evening and it is Sunday night just so you know). So I striped the bed and spread some garbage sacks out on it and made her sleep on them. I have to sleep on the trash she said. I think she was actually pretty amused by that because she went around and told everyone and then jumped in bed and wiggled around a bit to hear the plastic crinkle under her. I went ahead and covered her with a couple baby blankets although I didn't want to since I know I will end up washing them in the morning but since it is January I felt it would be cruel to make her sleep without any blankets.
So as I covered her up and started to walk out of the room and it hit me what a loser of a mother I am. We live in an absolute pig stye- my kids have to sneak food into their rooms, and horde it in their drawers because I fail to feed them, they sleep not on sheets but trash bags in a bed they have to wade through ankle high junk to get to. I felt proud of myself for feeding them fruit today - even though it was apple pie, but know there is no way in the world I could even come close to feeding them 5 fruits and vegtables a day like Megan does. I was feeling pretty depressed as I turned out the light but then as I started to walk out of the room I caught what Rachel was humming to herself "I have an excellent Father.... I had the best day with you today." and I realized that even if we were messy we were happy. The neighborhood kids do choose our house to hang out in for a reason, and its not because of what we have, but because of who we are and how they feel when they are with us. At least I hope that's why.
Well last July we went on a trip to Oregon as we were traveling home Rick hit upon an idea to settle once and for all if we stink or not. We were to walk in the door after being gone for 2 weeks and take a big whiff. If it stunk they we would know we also stink, if not then we were ok. We walked in and sniffed. I about threw up. I was horrified thinking that is how we smell. Well the smell came from a dishwasher that had gotten stopped half way through the cycle and the water had started growing mold and slime and a putrid odor, that combined with the garbage someone, who was assigned, forgot to take out, left our home smelling like a sewer.
Well ever since that experience anytime we come home from being somewhere overnight I make a point to walk in and take a long whiff. We went to Soda Springs for New Years last week and came home and, like always, I sniffed and once again I almost lost my lunch. I walked straight to the dishwasher opened it up and saw clean sparkling dishes and no water on the bottom. I was relieved but realized I had waded through water to get to the dishwasher. THere was water on the kitchen floor, there was water in the halls, there was water in the carpet in the computer room, water in the bathrooms and water leaking down through the ceiling into the basement. It was drain water from where our kitchen sink was overflowing as the dishwasher drained, so it was pretty putrid.
We contemplated cleaning it up but decided we didn't really want to so we called our insurance and they sent out a company to restore it - "like it never happened" - or so their ad promised. Well they tore out drywall, baseboards, carpet padding and linoleum, they drilled holes in the walls and set up about 15 huge fans and a couple dehumidifiers. They told us to keep them on as much as possible and it would be dried in a day or two. They said if it was too noisy to deal with we could turn them off while sleeping or something. Well I vowed we would leave them on every second so we could get it dried and the fans out of the way. The sooner the better I thought. For the next 5 days and nights they hummed, or more accurately screamed, but I never touched the on/off switch. It almost drove me over the edge - they were so loud and so hot. It was 80 degrees in my house with the windows open - in January!! But after 5 long days it finally dried.
I am not sure how they got their little "like it never happened" slogan because my house definitely still looks like something happened. There are holes drilled all along the bottoms of my walls, the carpets are cut up, the base boards are torn off and there are big sections of walls with no drywall. I have been waiting for the insurance adjuster to come to inspect and figure out how much they owe us so we can call in a contractor. The guy has called several times and promised to come out twice - still haven't met him. He is super nice but I am kinda starting to wonder how professional he is. The first time I talked to him he kept pausing and then apologizing saying he wasn't following our conversation well because traffic was bad and he was paying attention to the traffic and not me. Well I am glad he didn't wreck but maybe he should have pulled over to call me instead of call me while driving. He called me again the next day and after a couple minutes of repeating word for word what he said the day before he paused and said - "I feel really dumb for asking this but have I talked to you before" I guess he hadn't made any notes on our file - probably because traffic was so bad, so he had forgotten our conversation. I had to laugh because it was pretty evident that he had his little script down pretty good because it really was almost word for word what he said the previous day. Well he promised to come out Friday morning but I haven't seen hide nor hair of him - hopefully he didn't make a call on the way over to my house and wreck.
So I just took a break for typing this to go in and put my kids to bed. I walked into Rachel and Anna's room and waded through the piles of books, dvd's wii games and other assorted items that used to be on the shelves in the computer room but are now strewn about the girls room awaiting the time when the carpet is fixed and we can put them back where they belong. Over the last week I have put them all back in the boxes multiple times but for some reason they continually get dumped out. Probably because there are so many boxes filled to overflowing that the kids have to move them, or jump over them or sit on them to watch tv and play the wii in there since it too got moved into the girls room during flood clean up. The room is truly stuffed to the gills. The closets are all blocked so the kids can't get in there to put the toys away (how the toys keep getting out is a mystery they can't explain since they swear there is no way into the closet to put the stuff away) My daughters room is often cluttered and even pretty frequently messy - although we usually get it cleaned up every day or two. But it has never been anything like it has the last week - it is way beyond a disaster.
I can't imagine how and more importantly why the whole neighborhood packs themselves in a 10x10 room that is strewn with stuffed animals, naked barbies and clothes more than a foot thick, (And that is just the tiny areas that is not filled with boxes, Rubbermaid totes filled to overflowing and extra furniture) so that they can play wii or watch tv on a 10 year old tv with lines all over it and no sound system. Yet they do - yesterday Taylor and Dallin had a couple friends over, the girls had 2 friends over and Ryans friend all came to watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid and watch each other play wii. Really. It completely baffles me since I know every single one of the friends that were over here have a nice flat screen tv with a wii hooked up to it hanging on their wall in the basement. Yet there they were, sitting on the beds, boxes of books, the barbie house and each other all crowded around a fuzzy tv.
So back to the story - I walk in the room and saw there was clean laundry stacked on the dresser - a frequent and somewhat acceptable occurrence. I opened the top drawer to put a stack away and notice a corn dog sitting on top of a pair of skidded up underwear. Yes a corn dog and poopy underwear in the dresser drawer, have you ever heard of anything more disgusting. No wonder our house stinks. No wonder we stink. Upon further investigation we learned that the kids needed a snack during the Wimpy kid movie. I guess the trash can wasn't as a convenient as the dresser drawer for disposing their half eaten corn dog - or maybe the trash can was just too full of wrappers from the 2 boxes of gogurts the kids had snuck in there to eat while watching their movie. I found the gogurts when pink goo shot out form under my foot as I inadvertently stepped on a half eaten one hidden under some toys. I just had a thought maybe I should feed my kids lunch - they may not feel the desire to sneak food in the bedrooms if I did. I will have to try that. I really do have a problem remembering to feed my kids lunch on the weekends or summer. I figure they can just open the cupboard or fridge and eat something when they get hungry like I do.
Anyway back to my story - so I throw away the corn dog and poopy underwear and dump the top layer of clothes in the drawer into the laundry and go back in to put Rachel to bed. ( A little side note here - I wasn't sure how to spell poopy so Rick told me to google it - the urban dictionary had me rolling - I guess I know where my kids get their love of potty humor) Rachel is a great sleeper - she crawls in her bed- head hits the pillow and for the most part she is dead to the world till about 10:00 in the next morning. Which is wonderful except for the fact that her bladder in not such a good sleeper and needs emptied before 10:00 in the morning. Thank goodness for pull ups at least when we have them - which tonight we don't. I considered what to do- I searched everywhere I could think of for a spare diaper and come up empty handed. It is 10:00 at night so I am hesitant to call a neighbor to borrow one. With all the mess and stink and the dryer that takes 4 cycles to dry I am just not crazy about the prospect of adding another load of wet sheets and blankets to my already 5 to 6 loads of laundry piled up in my laundry room (laundry was completely caught up Friday evening and it is Sunday night just so you know). So I striped the bed and spread some garbage sacks out on it and made her sleep on them. I have to sleep on the trash she said. I think she was actually pretty amused by that because she went around and told everyone and then jumped in bed and wiggled around a bit to hear the plastic crinkle under her. I went ahead and covered her with a couple baby blankets although I didn't want to since I know I will end up washing them in the morning but since it is January I felt it would be cruel to make her sleep without any blankets.
So as I covered her up and started to walk out of the room and it hit me what a loser of a mother I am. We live in an absolute pig stye- my kids have to sneak food into their rooms, and horde it in their drawers because I fail to feed them, they sleep not on sheets but trash bags in a bed they have to wade through ankle high junk to get to. I felt proud of myself for feeding them fruit today - even though it was apple pie, but know there is no way in the world I could even come close to feeding them 5 fruits and vegtables a day like Megan does. I was feeling pretty depressed as I turned out the light but then as I started to walk out of the room I caught what Rachel was humming to herself "I have an excellent Father.... I had the best day with you today." and I realized that even if we were messy we were happy. The neighborhood kids do choose our house to hang out in for a reason, and its not because of what we have, but because of who we are and how they feel when they are with us. At least I hope that's why.
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