Monday, April 11, 2011
Bob
"La Fawnduh" and Me
You wouldn't think "La fawnduh" and I would have something in common. But we do, when it comes to our men anyway. Not them personally - I have got a wonderful, hardworking, good looking, intelligent, kind man who is the envy of all the neighborhood - or at least he should be. And she has Kip - who is anything but any of those things... But Rick and Kip have one thing in common, their love of technology. They both spends hours online - admittedly Rick is working- not chatting with hot babes. But both their worlds seem to center on technology. In fact "La Fawnduh" has even got one up on me - while Kip admits he loves technology he sings about how he loves her more. Rick, I'm not so sure about. I used to think I was the love of his life, but then came along his droid. I am beginning to suspect he loves her more. Which isn't' all that hard to understand, she is amazing. His droid does it all, texts, calls, tracks, searches, takes pictures and video, streams music and movies, plays games and much much more. With a caress of her face or the sound of your voice she will find you anything you ever dreamed of. Truly she can make "all your wildest dreams" come true.
I really do think she has made it to the top of his list. After all she is the last thing he touches at night and he rolls over and reaches for her first thing every morning. While it used to be me he reached for each morning now it his droid laying right there in my place - literally. I used to have the right side of the bed but that all changed when the droid came. She needs to be plugged in each night to the computer. My side of the bed, (definitely the best side,) was closer to the computer... and the window and the clock and further from the noise, and the light and the door. So I got ousted, now Rick sleeps on the right side so he can sleep next to her.
It is not only in bed that she took over my place. Date night became a thing of the past. I got sick of going to a restaurant and watching Rick play with his phone, sitting across the table silently eating my dinner while he looked things up, checked him mail or sent a text. So I started refusing to go. At first I told him I wouldn't go to dinner, I thought a movie would be safe. Well he wore a hat and when the movie started he took it off and used it to shield the light from his phone so he could still use her while the movie was playing without getting kicked out of the theater. It wasn't' as bad as dinner since at least I was entertained, but I still felt like a third wheel. So I decided enough was enough. I swore I would not go out with him unless he left his phone home. He flatly refused. Valentines Day came and went. I missed my annual Valentines Day date that I look forward to each year. About 2 months later we finally compromised. I agreed to go to dinner with him if he left his phone in his pocket. It went ok. He only reached for it once, but one look from me and he put it back. It is not like I am asking him to be totally unreachable. I offered to let him carry my phone. But mine just doesn't do it for him. It is just a regular phone. Although I just recently got a texting plan which thrilled Rick. You see now Rick doesn't' have to focus his attention on me if I need to ask him something. It is a lot easier to just read a text from me and see what I want rather than have to stop what he is doing and focus on me. Well as his wife I miss the days when we wanted to stop what he was doing and focus on me. I hope someday those days might return, but if technology keeps advancing the way it has been I'm afraid it is a lost cause. I'm afraid technology has replaced me as the love of his life - 'Always and Forever."
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Dallin wants to be a Zuko blue spirit kind of thing from some kind of show he watched at his friend Gavin's house. They don't carry that at Walmart. I googled it. Didn't come up on the shopping tab. I finally did find some one who sells them. He is an artist that will accept a commission to make one for you to the tune of hundreds of dollars. I am not that kind of mom. So I headed back to Walmart and bought a cheap little plastic hockey mask thing and a bottle of liquid starch. I cut up strips of news paper and sat in front of the computer looking at the Zuka guy and fashioned a mask that sort of resembled it. Newspaper soaked in liquid starch is amazing. It can bend and mold pretty well. It is very cheap and not to difficult although it does make a big mess and take quite some time. Several hours later I was ready to paint. It took a couple of coats and it definitely doesn't look like the one we could have had commissioned but Dallin said, "wow mom that looks good." That was good enough for me.
For the last couple of years Taylor has decided to go with food icons for his Halloween theme. He was Mr. Peanut, Chester Cheetah and this year he has got his eye on the Koolaide man. None of these costume can be found at walmart, or party land or any other store I could find. So two years ago I spent countless hours paper maching a peanut. It took several hours each night for a few weeks. I was frustrated to tears, exhausted from night after night of no sleep, and covered sticky bits of newspaper and yellow paint. But I finally came up with a costume he loved and I was proud of. I swore never to do it again. 12 months later I was pulling my hair out over chester cheetah. Chester required sewing which I am not a huge fan of. They also do not sell patterns for Chester so I had to make it up by trial and error. More error than trial by the way. But he was one happy little cheetah last Halloween.
So here we are to this year. Mr. Koolaide man. I thought it was a great idea, but only if they sold it in stores. They don't. We checked online and found a you tube video on how to make your own. You can also make your own Weed man - but we stuck with Mr. Koolaide. It did lead to a nice discussion on marajuanna and why anyone would want to dress up like it. Anyway Mr. Koolaide looked a bit difficult to make. I put it off. I continued to look on the internet. I finally found a man in Milwaukee who was selling his homemade Mr. Koolaide man costume. It was a really nice costume but it required a truck to pick it up, a drive to Milkwaukee and 200 dollars. None of those things are really a possibility for us this halloween so I went back to the You tube and watched the tutorial over and over again. My first attempt was a complete failure. My second attempt was working ok. Probably because this time I talked Rick into helping me. We had to wrap some cardboard boxes around some hulu hoops. Did that and moved on to step 2 which is use bed foamies to build the shape of a pitcher. First of all I didn't even know what bed foamies were let alone how to use them to make a pitcher. Someone commented that they were egg crate mattress. So I got mine out of the closet and cut it up. It didn't work. We experimented with everything we could think of to make the box into a pitcher. Paper, tape, batting, sheets, blankets and bubble wrap. Finally after a midnight run to Walmart for bubble wrap and duct tape I had a burst of inspiration. How about carpet padding I said. Rick said, "yeah maybe". So we drug it out cut it in strips and taped it on. It worked, kind of, we duct taped it on, wrapped the whole thing in bubble wrap and then in duct tape and decided to call it good. If it wouldn't have been 3 am in the morning we may have kept working. But we were exhausted. Also going around and around and around the box with duct tape had made me so dizzy I wasn't walking straight my head was pounding and I was threatening to throw up. So we called it a night and I went to bed.
Feeling kind of miserable
My path to destruction began late on Tuesday evening. I had procrastinated going to the grocery store to buy some lasagna that was on sale. Ads change on Wednesday so I had to load the three younger kids, who were in their pajamas, into the car and trudge down to the Fresh Market. If it would have been Maceys I could have just waited till they were all asleep but since Fresh Market isn't open 24 hours (which blows my mind-isn't every store worth going to open 24 hours these days) I had to go before close. I had hoped Rick would be home so I could sneak off by myself but he wasn't. Taylor was at a football game. So we went to the the store. They were out of Lasagna. I was mad. I saw some in a woman's cart. I eyed it jealously and wondered how I could get it from her (boy am I full of sin). I politely asked her where she found it and she said, almost in a bragging tone, it was the last one. I should probably admit that she was most likely being polite but in my green with envy state it sounded like she was rubbing it in.
Well the thing was this lasagna - which is one of the only foods (besides pizza) that everyone in my family will eat was a really good deal. It is also my favorite kind of meal - the kind that require no effort on my part. It comes in a box in its own pan so I can pull it straight from the freezer to the oven in less than 15 seconds and when done I can throw it in the trash without doing dishes. That is definitely my favorite kind of meal. So anyway this lasagna was a couple dollars cheaper than usually and (this is the kicker) if you buy it you get a bunch of free stuff. Free french bread, free salad, free cookies and free soda. I like soda, cookies, bread and salad, and I especially like free. So you can see why it was really important I didn't miss this sale.
By this point I was pretty frustrated, my kids were also running around the store, climbing all over the cart, in their pajamas, acting like acrobats that had just escaped from the circus, (or maybe lunatics from the funny farm). So I was also growing more and more embarrassed. I was headed towards the door when a nice young boy (he looked like he was 12 which just shows how old I am getting since he must have been at least 16 to be working there) came pushing a cart of lasagna. He asked me if I was looking for some. I smiled and nodded. He got me some and was kind enough to also help me gather up all my free items. They were out of french bread. But this amazing grocery stocker went and got me a loaf of frozen french bread from the bakery freezer and wrapped it up for me and told me how to cook it. I was amazed. While it does require a bit more work to cook the bread it is kind of nice to have it frozen so we can eat it when we want.
Well my last free item to get was soda. Here is where my real path to destruction begins. Being the last few hours of the sale they were out of almost everything. Including soda. All they had was pepsi and diet Mt Dew. I sadly walked away knowing I should not buy those kinds of soda. Of course it was free so I wasn't actually buying it - but I still walked away. Then I walked back. Then I walked away. Then I walked back. This happened a least 3 times - maybe 4. Finally the pressure had worn me down - I grabbed a bottle of Diet Mt Dew and went to the check out. The bottle of soda sat on my counter for a few days. Taylor asked me what it was. He asked if it had caffeine. I still had enough self respect not to lie to him. He asked why we had it, "we aren't' going to actually drink it are we" he said. I told him it was for our food storage. It was all I could think of. I think that kind of puzzled him but he just shrugged his shoulders and walked away. Up to this point I have been able to hide my caffeine drinking from my kids because I have only ever gotten it from a fountain - and once it is in a cup they can't tell what it is.
It is almost Halloween. The last week of October is usually one of my most stressful weeks of the year. This year is no exception. I came home from a "baby" shower (she is really 4 - but my friend just adopted her) to a horrible mess, cranky kids and a tired and stressed husband. He was trying to get some work done. I guilted him into helping me start working on Taylor's costume that I had also procrastinated. He is being Mr. Koolaide man. I think I will post a separate blog on that whole issue so stay tuned if you are interested. So we worked on that for a couple hours.
The house grew even more messy and the kids more wild. Finally we break down and feed the kids who have been crying from hunger for the last hour or so. It was around 9:00. Then the mess was getting to me so I made everyone help me clean it up and we got the kids to bed a little after 11 :00. We were tired. I saw the diet Mt. Dew. I wanted it. I told myself we should go to bed. I kept seeing the Mt Dew. For some reason I couldn't help myself from walking past it every couple of minutes. It was tormenting me. I asked Rick, "How would you feel about having some Mt. Dew" We have been married long enough he knows that actually translates to "I want some Mt. Dew but feel to guilty drinking it by myself so I need you to drink some with me." So being the kind, loving husband he is - agreed. Apparently he needs to work on resisting peer pressure. He drank some, I drank a lot - a really lot. He worked on his work stuff (whatever it was - any time the computer screen is black with a bunch of tiny number and letters in weird configurations I just ignore it) I kept drinking.
Then I talked him into helping me work on Taylor's costume some more. We needed some stuff for it so I went to Walmart. It was after midnight - so I guess I was shopping on Sunday too. We tried everything we could think of, wrestled with the cardboard, taped and taped and finally came up something that kind of looks like a kool aid pitcher. So we started wrapping the whole thing in duck tape. We just went around the thing doing lap after lap. We were going pretty fast. Pretty soon Rick stopped and stepped back and said he couldn't do it anymore. I kept going, around and around and around. When I finally got to the bottom and stood up I almost tipped over. It was like a kid getting off the merry go round. I couldn't walk straight. I couldn't see straight. I felt like I was going to throw up. I stumbled my way into my bed and laid there. I felt awful. I went to sleep. It was a little after 3 am. Rick stayed up and did some more work. He came in a little after 4:00. The phone rang at 9:00 this morning. I tried to get it but couldn't. My head still aches, I am still worried about throwing up. I am tired. I want to die. Perhaps I am hung over - although I am pretty sure that comes from alcohol not caffeine. It sure is a good thing the Lasagna didn't come with free beer. I may have ended up drinking it.
But boy do I feel awful. It hurts to open my eyes. It hurts to stand up, it hurts to lay down, it hurts to talk, it hurts to think, pretty much it hurts to be alive. Rick woke up he raised his head a bit and said "I feel like crap" and then laid back down and closed his eyes. I felt guilty for pressuring him with the Mt Dew. So I drug myself out of bed and brought him in some medicine. Usually he asked me what I am giving him when I hand him medicine. But he just opened his hand for my fistful of pills and swallowed them without opening his eyes. His head hit the pillow and he was asleep again. I tired to go back to sleep but my stomach hurt to bad. Death doesn't' sound to bad at this point. I am not sure if we can go to church today. I think we may skip it. I truly am miserable. This could be a good lesson for me - maybe caffeine really is as wicked as my Mom tells me it is- but the truth is I am probably too stubborn to learn anything from it. Also Mt Dew really does taste pretty good.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Taylor's wife
We went on to talk about what he thought he life would be like when he got older. He had some pretty big ideas. He knew most of the things he wanted take a lot of money so he decided he better get a job that makes a lot. He is planning on being a doctor since in his mind they make the most. It was fun to hear about his dreams. I can't wait to visit him in his "big house, that is not a mansion - but it has 3 stories and a balcony" or ride in his "purple spider with yellow stars" or play with his 1 or maybe 2 kids - (any more that that will cost too much money and he won't have enough for all the other things he wants to do.) But most of all I can't wait to meet his wife who will be have none of my bad parts - I guess she will be nothing like me then.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Anna's baptism
I walked up the stairs and into the dressing room. My mom was there holding out a towel. She wrapped me in it, hugged me and with tears streaming down her face she whispered, "I'm so proud of you". 27 years later I watched Rick take Anna's hand and lead her into the water. I stood in the dressing room doorway and watched Anna walk up the stairs I held out a towel wrapped her in it, held her close and whispered "I am so proud of you". Tears were streaming down my face. And WOW. That moment is something I will forever cherish.
Summer
This summer has been really good, it breaks my heart to see it end. Last weekend in a desperate attempt to hang on a little longer to the carefree feeling late summer evenings bring I let the kids play outside well past dark. I sat on the porch and we laughed and watched the neighbors playing fugitive. We watched the moths flirt with the porch light we picked some flowers and looked at the stars. It was getting to be time to go in, but I didn't want to, so I sent everyone in to get some shoes and we hopped in car and drove to Diary Queen for blizzards. Even Dairy Queen knows summer is over - their 1/2 price after 10:00pm summer promotion was over and I had to pay full price. Driving home I saw the fountains still going at the new park. I pulled in and suggested a run through the fountains. Some of the kids were in the pajamas and Ryan didn't have a shirt on so they were hesitant to get out of the car - but they finally did. Taylor, Dallin and Rick bravely ran through the water. I chickened out. We were only there about 5 minutes before everyone was begging through chattering teeth to leave. That wouldn't have happened in August.
I love summer, I live for summer and this summer has been one of the best - and one of the shortest. Dallin remarked the other day, "how come when you are doing something fun time goes by really fast but when you are doing chores or piano or something it takes forever" I wish I knew the answer to that, it is one of the cruel tricks of nature I guess.
We started out the summer with a trip to New Mexico. While 11 hours in the car with 5 kids was no picnic it wasn't bad either. My mom was there to help keep them entertained. The sun and heat of New Mexico felt wonderful. Mark and my mom lamented the heat but I loved it. We swam, played in the river, went to the zoo, shot guns and had a really really good time. Family is a great part of summer. We were home a few weeks - just long enough for me to get my garden in and some flowers planted and we left for Oregon. This time Rick got to go. This was a trip I have longed to take. It was everything I dreamed it would be and more. It truly was amazing. We also went camping several times, hiking, swimming and enjoyed more family when Liz and Jim came for Anna's baptism.
A lot of my friends dread summer break and say there kids get bored and are ready to go back to school by the 4th of July. I can't believe this - how can kids get bored during the summer. The idea is so foreign to me, I feel like there is never enough time to do all I want to do during the summer. I am fighting for every last minute of summer break. In fact this summer Grandma and Grandpa carter were here the first couple weeks of school so we really put off getting back into a school schedule until after they left. It was late nights and undone homework until after labor day.
Last Christmas I got a book from my Mom. It is called something like "Great kids are homemade". I am a big fan. It's premise is something I have long believed. You have to make your home fun enough that your kids want to be there. Well in the book it has tons of great suggestions. My lazy nature has gotten in the way of implementing a lot of them but one thing we did try was to have a more scheduled summer. With the idea of work hard/play hard.
So we instituted what came to be known as "days" at our house. We had "work day", "library day", "technology day", "fun day" and friends day". For the most part it worked out really well. One of the first things I heard each morning when the kids drug themselves out of bed was "what day is it" and they didn't mean Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs or Friday. I thought the kids would rebel but they didn't. They complained a bit but for the most part I think they liked it. This is the description of our "days" that I wrote at the beginning of the summer. The idea was to limit screen time, to keep my house from filling like a day care center with every neighborhood child moving in for summer and to keep our house looking reasonably clean.
Work Day
What: A day to get all our chores, errands and lessons done.
When: Once a week, usually Monday or Wednesdays between the hours of 10:00 and 4:00
Rules: Everyone will do their normal daily chores, their work day chores, piano, scouts, and all errands that need to be done such as the grocery store, walmart etc. There will be no friends, no tv, no wii, no computer.
Fun Day:
What: A day to do a fun activity of your choice.
When: Once a week, on Tuesday or Thursdays between the hours of 11:00 – 4:00 (we can be flexible)
Rules: Everyone will do their normal daily chores first. Each family member will get 2 turns during the summer to plan any activity they want to do. The rules are that everyone must be able to participate, you may not spend more than $20 (you can save your money or pool with others if you want). No one may complain or refuse to participate – if you do you forfeit your turn. The person whose turn it is to plan the activity may invite 1 friend to ride with us if they want. Other than that there will be no friends, no wii, no tv, no computer.
Library Day:
What: A day to go to the library, the park, read books and watch a mom chosen movie.
When: Once a week on Tuesday or Thursday between the hours of 11:00 and 4:00.
Rules: Everyone will do their normal daily chores first. We will go to the library and perhaps to the park to play and eat lunch after (depending on weather). When we return home we will spend the afternoon reading a book of your choice. We will each have a turn to choose a family book mom will read aloud for ½ hour, the readers will then take 15 min turns to read to the non readers and 45 min to read to themselves. We will then all watch a mom chosen movie. The only rule for the book is that it has to be a book you have not read before. We will have reading/movie snacks chosen by a different person each week. There will be no friends, no wii, no tv, no computer.
Mom chosen movies are ones that will hopefully bring some culture and education into are lives but are still enjoyable. Movies the kids would never choose on their own but still fun and enjoyable.
Technology Day:
What: A day to play computer, wii, or watch tv .
When: Once a week, on Monday or Wednesday between the hours of 10:00 and 4:00
Rules: Everyone will do their normal daily chores. You will sign up for 1 hour blocks on the computer, tv, laptop or game boy. You may not fight, complain or go past your time or you forfeit your next turn. Sign ups are first come first serve after daily chores are done. Friends may come over but if they play they get your time.
Friday Friend Day: You can do whatever you want after normal daily chores are done. You can have 1 hour of screen time that you sign up for on a first come first serve basis after chores are done. And you may play with any and all friends all day long.
For the most part our days went pretty much like planned. I did find it very hard to continually turn away the kids who knocked on the door asking to come play so we often had friends all day. They started asking me "what day is it" too. In fact it wasn't all that rare to have to walk home one of Ryan's little friends at 11:00 at night when we started getting ready for bed. This little late night friends was also often one of the first ones to arrive.
I also had a hard time enforcing reading - partly because so many friends were constantly there on library day. I also hate reading out loud. I know a good mom shouldn't feel that way, but I do. I love reading, and I love books - but I hate reading out loud. I also have a really hard time only reading a chapter or two at a time. If I start a book I like to finish it that day - often reading into the morning hours. So all to often if I started reading a book to the kids I couldn't help myself and would end up getting it out and finishing it after the kids had gone to bed for the night. Then I want to move on to the next book instead of rereading the same one to them that I had finished the night before. I also can't read out loud fast enough for me. I can read a lot faster to myself and my mind isn't patient enough to wait for my mouth to catch up so it is frustrating. So reading out loud didn't go as well as planned. I forced myself to do it some of the days - so it was an improvement from past years but I don't think I ever finished a book with them.
Other than those 2 areas we did pretty good with sticking to our schedule. We had fun, the kids never really got bored and surprisingly enough my house was cleaner than usual. So I definitely consider the "days" to have been a successful venture.