Father's and Sons

Every summer for as long as I can remember the boys in my life have all packed and gone camping for a weekend. It happens every year without fail, I have even heard it called a sacred tradition. I am not sure if I would go so far as to call it sacred, but I do think Father's and Sons is a good thing. So this year, like always, the weekend rolled around. I spent a couple hours on Friday finding a tent, sleeping bags, clothes and things for my boys. I went grocery shopping and got their chocolate, marshmallows, and Gram crackers and some stuff for dinner. I packed up the car and had them and almost everything else ready so that when Rick got home he could jump in the car and take them camping. The exact same thing has happened every year since Taylor was about 2 or so. And every year I ponder why it is that Dad's and sons get to go and Mom's and girls don't. Especially when it is, at least in our family, the Mom's who put forth the most effort. Well there really is no reason to ponder I already know the answer. Because it is a Father's and Sons camp out, and as the name suggests it is for those who are either a Dad or a son, which is by definition only men. Me, being neither, a Father or a son don't get to go. Which I am ok with, I am not trying to start a movement to change Father's and Sons or anything because I do believe it is a "sacred" tradition - the sacred part could be debated.



But most years while packing I can't help but think that it is a bit unfair that I have to do all the work for something I am not even invited to. Many years I have decided not to pack and just let them do it their selves. But what always happens is I spend all day thinking about it and listening to my boys anticipating it, the best night of the summer, and I start getting nervous that they won't get there until midnight, or they will forget something or they will starve and so I give in and pack up. Now it is not that I don't think Rick could do it, or that I am afraid he wouldn't do it - it's just I don't think he ever has before and well I guess it's just hard to cut those apron strings. Also by the time he gets home from work it is such a relatively short time I don't want the few hours they have together spent at the grocery store or searching for camping gear.



So this year I decided to save myself the trauma of worrying about it all day and just planned on getting them out the door from the very beginning. Before they left I sweetly confronted Rick and ask him to please be very careful to watch my boys and make sure no one falls in the fire or the river. He brushed me off with -"I will, I will". I grabbed his arm pulled him around so I was looking into his eyes and very pleadingly said "please it is very important to me." He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "well don't you think it is to me too. " So I have been thinking about that a lot lately. I guess on one hand I do, of course, know that Rick loves the boys and their safety is important to him. But the thing is I have a really hard time imagining that anyone could want it as much as I do or that anyone could love them as much as I do. I spend every waking moment, and lots of the sleeping ones too, with them on my mind and their safety and well being in my hands. The thought struck me that maybe that is why they have Father's and Son's to give Dad's an opportunity to care for them, to watch them and be reminded how precious their sons are. As a mother I have that privilege ever day.



As I mother I also have the privilege of spending Father's and Son's with my daughters. This year we went out to dinner, did a bit of shopping (at DI for our birds) and then came home and watched a movie. We were then going to paint fingernails and all sleep together in my bed. I had dreams of a nice dinner with good food and pleasant conversation. But my hopes of good food was shot down when they voted for McDonald's. I vetoed that one and said, lets make it somewhere you get a menu and the waitress asks you what you want and brings it to you. They then suggested Wendy's followed by Carls Jr. Well remembering that I had a buy one get one free coupon for Dairy Queen I agreed to that, I figured that as long as I didn't get good food at least I would get cheap food. So off we went. The pleasant conversation was more along the lines, "please eat your dinner", "we can't get ice cream unless you eat your chicken nuggets, "sit down please", "stop blowing bubbles" and similar phrases. I came home exhausted, so we moved on to the movie. The girls voted for Barbie Swan Lake. So I tried hard to stay awake long enough to find out if Barbie would be a swan forever but didn't quite make it. I woke up to find the snow on the tv, Rachel asleep curled up next to me and no sign of Anna. I carried Rachel upstairs and found Anna asleep on the couch. So I put everyone in their own bed and went to sleep. I thought about taking them out for breakfast but they wanted me to make them waffles instead. By the time we were done the boys were home and it was time for me to start in on putting the camping stuff away and doing a bunch of smoke smelling laundry. I was a bit disappointed that my evening out with the girls didn't go as I hoped it would but there is always next year.