Monday, April 6, 2009

Detoxing


I guess I could be considered a crowd follower. I tend to do what everyone else is doing even if I don't necessarily want to. I sure hope all my friends don't jump off a cliff. When I see a new trend starting I balk at it a bit then before I know it I am as into it as the next guy. It is not all that great of a character trait to have. But oh well.

Well last winter one of my friends started selling this stuff you drink that makes you poop out all the impurities and toxins in your body. She raved about it and about how skinny she had gotten and how great she felt and blah blah blah. Well I first I thought she was psycho then I thought she was weird, then I thought she was brave then I thought she was smart. This detox diet thing slowly started creeping around my neighborhood. More and more of my friends were doing it. They were all talking about how wonderful it was. Well I thought there is no way I am doing something like that. First of all I am no stranger to diets. I am pretty much perpetually on one. But my goal is to get rid of all the big hunks of fat hanging all over my body, not all the toxins and impurities lurching in my colon and liver. As long as it doesn't make me look fat it can stay. To be perfectly honest I don't think I have anything against toxins. They all taste pretty good, I rather enjoy eating them.

In fact I know this girl who eats really healthy, or so she believes. She only eat raw foods. She doesn't eat any meat or anything grown with chemicals. She exercises all the time. She teaches at the gym she talks about how healthy she is. She is our ward's resident health nut. Anyway we both entered the same race. A half marathon. There she was with her tight running clothes showing off her thin toned body. There I was with my baggy sweats and tee shirt trying to hid my jiggling belly and wobbling saddle bags. Well long story short, I hauled my fat, sugar ladden, meat eating, chemical filled body across the finish line well before her. It might not be very sportsman like but it was the sweetest victory ever. So the moral of that story is, I am not so sold on this vegan, toxin free, organic lifestyle.

But after a while of watching the crowd detox, I gave in. As I am sure you all guessed, I am on a detox diet. Along with being a crowd follower I am also a tight wad. So I did not buy this detox diet thing my neighbor sells. Another friend found one on the Internet for free and so I decided to follow her and do that one. It is the cabbage soup detox diet. You have to eat this cabbage soup for 7 days. You can eat as much as you want of it all day long. Plus you get to eat fruit and vegetables and a couple other things on certain days. Well so this was my last day of the diet. I did really great the first 5 days. Then I went out to eat at Olive Garden and ate whatever the heck I felt like. I ordered the "all you can eat", and thanks to the tight wad side of me I ate all I could eat. I rather enjoyed it. Anyway the next three days I kept eating the soup but snuck a little ice cream here and there and my boys piano teachers brought over these really delicious cookies- I tried hard to resist but I succumbed and ate two.

Any way all in all it was a pretty good experience. I lost 7 lbs. I do feel better now that my pants are loose enough I can fully exhale and I don't get that bright red mark around my waist with the imprint of the button anymore. I am not sure if I got rid of all my toxins or not. I was expecting to be in the bathroom a lot, but it didn't happen. So maybe I am still toxic.

So now that that is over I am doing the weight watchers point diet. I always do really great at breakfast and lunch and even through dinner but then we all my kids leave the table and I notice how they didn't eat any of their dinner I get to feeling guilty about it going to waste. As hard as I try not to I end up eating it. So instead of eating just 1 dinner I eat about 5. So that pretty much kills the points thing. Tonight I even tried putting the plates in the sink and running water on the leftovers before I could eat them. I didn't work, I just ate some soggy bread.

A couple months ago my wonderful husband was watching me starve myself and run myself into the pavement and finally just ask, "why don't you just give up and let yourself be fat." In some ways that made me feel very loved, in some ways it made me feel very unsupported, in some ways it gave me a reason to eat. Now when searching for a reason to rationalize having another bowl of ice cream I can always tell myself I am just doing my wifely duty of honoring and obeying my husband. But realistically I am not ready to give up yet. I may never win but I gotta keep trying, after all I have nothing to lose but a bunch of fat.

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