The Shoe Dilema

As I was cleaning my carpet this evening I had a few thoughts I've been pondering.

Why does my carpet get so filthy. This of course is obvious, I have 5 small children who have legions of friends who all walk all over it with filthy feet and sticky hands. They often spill or drip as they sneak food out of the kitchen. They also like to lay on the carpet as they color, do stamps or paint their fingernails. Nail polish, markers, crayons, and ink frequently find their way off the paper or finger and onto the carpet. These are the big reasons my carpet is so filthy.

One common solution to dirty carpets is banning shoes. I have a hard time with this. For the record the rule in our home is that family members may not wear their shoes in the house. Guests will hopefully do whatever makes them most comfortable. We never ask or suggest our guests remove their shoes but hopefully they feel comfortable doing so if they prefer to be shoeless.

This shoe ban is very awkward for me, for several reasons, the primary one being I want every one and anyone no matter what or who they are to feel comfortable and at home in my home and I tend to think asking someone or expecting someone to remove their shoes can put them on the spot. At least it does for me. I am anything but graceful.

There is simply not a graceful way to bend over in the door way with everyone watching and take your shoes off. I have huge feet -while their size is necessary to support my body they can be hard to fit into shoes. I truly have a hard time finding shoes I do not have to wrestle onto my feet. At home I always sit down to put my shoes on. Since most people do not have a chair next to the door this is not possible without walking across their carpet in my shoes. The other possibility would be to plop myself down on the floor. This would be very awkward for anyone present - giving them that internal struggle - do I avert my eyes so I don't stare with my mouth wide open or do I try and ignore the situation by continuing the conversation. (The answer to this is almost always just pretend nothing is happening - most people can't help but peek anyway and turning away just acknowledges that the awkwardness of the situation)

I often wear flip flops for this (and other reasons). While the flip flops do help with the awkward foot wrestling they create other problems. Such as my ugly toenails are exposed, and a foot whose only protection from the elements is the thin thong between the toes are often very dirty and wet if it is winter.

If I wear shoes into someones house I have to bend over exposing my huge hind end or try to "gracefully" hop on one foot while lifting the other one high enough to untie and pull off. This usually takes several tries - all the while the hostess is looking on wondering how I ever got my foot in if getting it off takes so much effort. The other choice is flip flops. I then have to carefully step in someone else footprints to try and get the least possible amount of snow inside my foot. At the door I have to try and shake me feet off and let all snow melt and the water to run off before I enter the house. All the while my feet are freezing. I spend the whole time while in the house self conscious about my deformed toes and thick yellow toenails. For me this whole experience is just not comfortable.

It even gets worse if my children are accompanying me. Removing their shoes also requires a bit of wrestling and knot finagling which requires bending over exposing my hind quarters. Once the shoes come off the socks are exposed and this too is problematic. My children often wear socks with holes and matching colors isn't all that important to them either. Although I am lucky if they wear socks - if not when the shoes come off not only the dirt but also the smell is exposed and that is quite embarrassing. The simple truth is I have enough to do to get ready to go somewhere I find it hard and and counter productive to inspect feet, socks and shoes for each of my children before walking out the door. Also I have found that if I stop to help a child with shoes the other 4 are running loose and this never brings welcome results.

Also what to do with your shoes after you remove them. Should I leave them right there by the door in a big pile. I also have to try and nonchalantly angle them at such a way the size isn't showing - most people probably aren't even aware shoes come in such large sizes. It would be one thing if I were a basketball player or really tall or something but I am not I just have huge feet.

So the bottom line is because of the awkwardness and dread I feel at removing my shoes in someones doorway I refuse to do that to anyone else. Therefore I would never, never ask anyone to remove their shoes - even if they were visibly covered in mud. This includes children who are often not aware or conscious of muddy feet. That being said I hate to wear shoes so in order to feel most comfortable I would rather remove them - I just don't want to do it in the doorway of someone else's house.