ST Thomas

My plane touched down about 12:30 on Thursday afternoon. I was exhausted, giddy and a little nervous all at the same time. I walked off the plane and stopped on the first step. I knew other passengers were gently pushing from behind but I couldn't help myself. I looked around, I took a deep breath, my body shivered a little as the warm sun hit my cool skin, and I smiled. I quickly climbed down the stairs drinking in the warmth, and the smell of salt. Suddenly I felt very alone. I wanted to squeeze the hand next to mine and share in the joy I felt but there was no one there. At least no one I knew. The last 24 hours I had felt very alone I was nervous about making my connections, getting on the right train, finding my hotel and making it back to the airport in time. But I had done it. Now I had arrived and I had no one to share it with. I walked down the stairs and stopped to tie my sweatshirt around my waist and then continued walking right past the little groups of people hugging and laughing, past the lady with the little welcome drinks of rum, past the men holding the little signs with names of strangers they were there to pick up. I found the baggage claim and grabbed the suitcase marked with a necktie. It was one of the first ones off the plane- funny how that never happens when your in a hurry. I headed outside and politely declined all taxi offers. I looked around and memories came back making me smile.

I wondered what to do. I walked back in to the airport and found the bathroom. There was a long line, the 2 stalls were occupied by ladies who needed a little privacy to shed sweaters and jeans, they came out wearing shorts and tank tops. I thought about getting out of my jeans but decided not to. After I was finished I found a spot and sat down to decided what to do. I remembered that Kristin had mentioned that maybe she would leave her car for me but I wasn't sure. I decided to check the parking lot. So pulling my bag I walked out to the parking lot. I realized I wasn't exactly sure what I was looking for. I knew she had a red jeepy looking car but I really couldn't remember exactly what it looked like and I wasn't even sure it was there. So I went back in the airport and found an empty table and opened my book. I couldn't concentrate but I sat there looking at the pages until my phone rang. It was Kristin saying welcome to St Thomas. Her voice almost made my cry. Now I am sure that makes me sound like a big baby - but the truth is I was a mess of jumbled emotions, so exhausted from over 24 hours of traveling, a little lonely, relieved at making it, but most of all excited beyond belief for the next two weeks.


Kristin told me it was silly to sit in the airport, "get the car, go somewhere she said" So I did. As I walked across the parking lot I told myself over and over again that driving on St Thomas wasn't that big of a deal and I could most certainly drive around the island by myself, hundreds of other people did it every day after all. I wasn't totally convinced but I got in and started up the car anyway. I found the left side of the road and headed out. I decided the easiest way was to follow the car in front of me. So I did. He took me up around the university. It was an interesting little drive by the time he pulled into a parking lot I felt confident enough to turn around and head back to town on my own. I decided I needed to find the beach. There is one very close to the airport.

I parked and walked down to the water. I kicked off my shoes and wished I hadn't worn jeans. I smiled at the warm sand between my toes. For the next hour or so I watched the waves roll in, some boys playing basketball and my watch. Finally it was almost time for Rick to land so I headed back to the car to pick him up. The airport was maybe only a block away but I realized I hadn't paid attention to how to get in. I drove around a couple times looking for the entrance, I was frustrated and angry at myself for not being able to figure it out so I went back to the beach parked the car and walked over to the airport. It was a 6 minute walk. I stood and watched passengers come off the plane, counted how many people headed straight for the rum table and listened to the the taxi drivers jump into action. Rick didn't come but it was still early - probably not his plane. So I headed back to the car just to make sure it was still there. The sign I parked in front of said parking was for beach users only - others would be towed. It was there, I knew it would be - I was angry at myself for stressing over it.

I walked back and forth from the beach to the airport 2 more times before I finally spotted Rick walking across the tarmac. He walked straight past the rum and found me. He hadn't checked bags so we headed straight for the beach he dropped his stuff in the car, ditched his shoes, rolled up his jeans, grabbed my hand and walked into the water. He looked over at me, squeezed my hand and said, "We're home". I smiled at how odd but how right that sounded. I've thought a lot about it over the last 2 weeks.

We weren't home. We have never lived in St. Thomas or any island for that matter. We have been to a couple islands for a few weeks at a time but have never come close to living on an island or even near a beach. Yet for some odd reason it felt like home. The sun, the salt, the sand, the water, the smell just all felt so right like we fit, like we belonged. I don't know why, it seems absurd. Maybe its that I feel so at peace there. Our life is hectic, busy and just plain crazy. I spend much of the time feeling like I am drowning in chaos. Rick and I work together to take care of the kids and the house, we fight to build and home and a family and a career. It seems that most of the time we are so caught up in life that we forget to enjoy living. But everyone once in a while we escape all that and head to an island. Hawaii was the first, then Puerto Rico and now twice to St Thomas. It's only for a short while, but since we have been married, islands, for the most part, are the only place we have ever escaped all that life throws at us.

I absolutely love the islands and the ocean but to be honest I realized the part I love the most is being there with Rick. I don't feel complete without him and when we are there, he is really there. Maybe that is what makes it feel like home. In Utah, work, the kids and just daily life pull us apart. Even when we are together we are both so invested in what is going on around us that we aren't really all there. It has been on these islands that we feel really together, our relationship feels complete, like we are more than just a team or even a family, like we are one. It has been on these vacations that we feel like we can really play together, we can be friends, we forget all of our other responsibilities and concerns we can let our hair down and do things we would never do back home. Maybe that is why if feels like home. Harriet Beecher Stowe said, "Home is a place not only of strong affections, but of entire unreserve..." In St. Thomas I felt no reserve, I felt like I can really be me, and that we can really be us. That is what I love about it, that is why I need it.

We picked up a couple who were hitch hiking on St John and gave them a ride into town. They were a nice couple from Boston maybe a little younger than our parents. They told us how wonderful and important they thought it was for us to come on vacation and leave the kids at home. I can't remember exactly what the lady said but it hit me hard. She also hinted that this was not her first marriage and so I felt like she was speaking from experience. She said something like- all to often couples forget that they were together first before they had kids and they forget each other and what it is that brought them together in the first place. They forget about being a couple and the reasons for being married and then the forget about each other and their marriage and then it is gone. It hit me hard, because it is true. It is easy to forget but somehow when I'm in St. Thomas I remember.

The other thing that I love about St. Thomas is that Kristin lives there. I spent the first 18 years or so years of my life with her. She was my best friend the whole time I was growing up. We both moved on to other things in life but I miss her. I feel like she is a big part of who I am and when she is there I feel more complete. She amazes me. Inside and out she is better than me. She is so strong and confident, talented and warm. She is loved and respected, she knows how to make a difference. She knows how to make people feel loved and needed and at ease. I love spending time with her. It's only been a couple of day but I miss her. I have spoken to her every evening since I got back home - I feel like I need to hang onto that time I had with her. I love being with her and don't want to give it up yet. I know we each have our own lives and we go on doing what life has in store for each of us but I miss her.

I love the island itself. I won't lie about that. The smells the sounds the feelings are so reassuring so relaxing so right. I love the ocean and I miss it. It seems so majestic and powerful, relentless yet peaceful. The first time we got in the water I was carrying my mask and we were walking across a little beach to check out some rocks on the other side. I started swimming. I love that sensation of diving into the water and feeling it wash across my face and down my entire body. I took a few strokes and then held my mask up to my face. I didn't even put it all the way on. But as soon as I put it to my face it all came back to me. There is a whole other world lying beneath the water. I'd forgotten how beautiful and utterly amazing it is. I absolutely love snorkeling, I could swim around and look at the fish and the coral forever. I truly never get tired of it - after a while my body gets tired and thirsty and soar, the mask gives me a headache and the salt stings my lips but the view could hold my attention forever. We spent much of the the next two weeks snorkeling and I couldn't have been happier.

So here is a little run down of what we did.

We arrived Thursday afternoon and picked up Kristin after work. We went back to her house where Kristin fixed us some "welcome drinks" and we had a wonderful dinner and just kind of relaxed and settled in a bit and got ready for our weekend trip to Tortola and Virgin Gorda.

Friday morning we caught the first ferry to Tortola, then got right back on a ferry to Virgin Gorda. This may sound really dumb but I was so excited to go somewhere requiring a passport. This was the first time I have ever needed one. I have been out of the country, to Mexico, several time but never needed a passport. So I was really excited to go to a "foreign country" and get a stamp in my new passport. The thing is nothing about Tortola is foreign. As far as I could tell they have all the same kind of laws and rules and customs of the other islands I had been to. Nothing like Utah, but nothing I hadn't seen before. Now while I didn't really rationally expect anything different I hoped it would feel different. They still speak English (kind of) and use American dollars and American measurements like miles and gallons etc. The island is beautiful, absolutely breathtaking. We started out by going to the baths and then a little beach called Spring Bay. They were amazing - I don't really know how else to describe it. Spring Bay was my favorite. Like the Baths it is a beach surrounded by big round boulders, the rocks make little caverns, and caves. You can climb in, on and around them to find little hidden rooms and walkways. I loved it. Easily the most beautiful and impressive beaches I have ever been to. We snorkeled and swam and explored and took pictures all that day and the next. We spent the night at a hotel in Leverick Bay. It was a nice little place tucked up on a hill with a beautiful view. That night we had dinner in their restaurant on the beach. It was an buffet with a show. We kind of debated doing it because it was more expensive than we had planned on, it was probably the most expensive meal I have ever eaten. But I am so glad we did. The food was really good and the show was wonderful. It was Macajumbies. I had never seen them before but I had a great time watching them and listening to the music. I couldn't bring myself to dance with them or get my picture taken with them but Kristin and Rick did.

The next day we went back to Spring Bay for a few hours before heading over to Tortola. We were climbing around the rocks when Rick stepped off one wrong and hurt his ankle. He heard it pop and it hurt a bit but kept walking on it fine for the next few hours. He limped a little on the way back but was still able to walk into the restaurant we had lunch in while waiting for the ferry. But by the time we left the restaurant he couldn't put any weight on it at all. We had quite a time of it getting him onto the ferry with him hopping on one foot and us trying to help him and get all our bags on at the same time.

We got to Tortola and picked up our car. We were planning on having Rick drive but since he couldn't use his right leg it was decided that I would be the driver. Luckily, (and boy did it turn out to be lucky) I had only brought an expired drivers license and they wouldn't let me be a driver. So Kristin got to be the driver. It was a tiny little box of a car, the kind that are all over Europe. It did not climb hills well and Tortola is one big hill. But we finally made it to some beaches. Krisitn and I carried Rick from the car to the water and just dropped him in where he could swim around just fine. We had a great time. It started to rain about the time the sun started to set so we headed for our hotel. Well the slick roads and the steep hills did not work for our little car. The car slipped and slided like we were on ice and would not make it up the hill. I was scared to death. Kristin handled it well and maneuvered us over to the side where there was a bit of grass hoping this would give us some traction. The grass was on side of the road facing on-coming traffic and a big drop off into the jungle below. It was scary and while we made a tiny bit of progress we did not make it up the hill. We didn't know what to do and we really scared. A suv came along and offered to help us. A very nice man had us get out and he turned the car around put it in reverse and backed up the hill. Going in reverse helped because it was a front wheel drive car and that put the power where it was needed. It was still pouring and Kristin ran up the hill to meet him while I tried to help Rick hop up it. We weren't' making much progress and at one point Rick even tried crawling on his hands and knees to get up. Thankfully the man returned in his car and drove Rick up to the top of the hill.

We found our hotel and checked in. It was on the top floor with no elevator. I went out to get Rick and start our trek up the stairs when Kristin came out with an old pair of crutches. She had been in asking if we could get a room on the ground floor and joked that it would be nice to have some crutches - amazingly the clerk went to the back room and brought some out. That helped a lot and Rick was able to get up and down the stairs and around a lot easier. We found a restaurant had dinner and did a bit of grocery shopping and went to bed. The hotel was far from nice and not even very clean but we survived it. The next morning we went to church. After church Kristin needed to catch the ferry back to be at work in the morning but Rick and I had planned to stay another day exploring the island and doing some hiking but we decided with Rick's foot hiking was out, I was scared to drive on the hills and without crutches we didn't know how successful we would be at getting anywhere. So we ended up deciding to go back with Krisitn. I was really disappointed we didn't get to see the rest of Tortola but with Rick's foot I just didn't see how it was feasible. When we went to return the car we saw a medical supply store. I ran in and asked about crutches. They had some for sale so we got some. That really helped Rick was able to get around a lot better.

Church in Tortola was really good, really really good. It was and interesting experience. Church is held in a rented room above a restaurant or a bank or something. When we arrived the missionaries were out in the parking lot waiting for another man to arrive so they could go in the building. With Rick's arrival they were allowed in so we all trooped up the stairs. We found out one of the missionaries had actually lived in our ward for a few months. We didn't remember him but we both knew many of the same people so that was kind of fun. Kristin is friends with the Young Women's leader and the Tortola branch joined with Krisin's branch for Girls Camp last summer so Kristin also knew some of the Young Women so she went in with them for their class. When we started Rick and I and the missionaries were the only ones there for joint Elders Quorum Relief Society meeting. Others trickled in so by the time it was over there were about 10 of us. The Branch President taught the lesson and did a really good job. The lesson was on faith, it was simple and basic but the spirit was very strong. It seemed that most of the branch members were pretty new converts with diverse backgrounds and experiences which seemed to make the comments much different then the pat answers you here in a Utah ward. These members didn't always use the right terms and maybe didn't have a really good grasp on the gospel but they were sincere, their comments were well thought out and the spirit was strong. They spoke from their heart and bore firm sweet testimony of the way that their faith and the gospel had changed their lives. After Sacrament meeting the Branch President and the missionaries gave Rick a blessing for his foot to be healed. It was a wonderful experience. I very much enjoyed church. After church we drove around a little more looking at the island and then all got on the ferry back to St Thomas.


On Monday we dropped Kristin off for work and we went to the beach for a little snorkeling. Then during her lunch Kristin dropped us off at the ferry for Water Island. Water Island is a little island right off the St Thomas coast. The beach is kind of a long walk up a steep hill from the ferry dock - but Rick hobbled along on his crutches and we made it to the beach. I love the island. The beach was beautiful, the snorkeling was great and the atmosphere was very laid back and friendly. The homes we saw on the walk over were very well kept up and their wasn't the ghetto feeling you get in a large part of St. Thomas. We spent the afternoon on the beach and then Kristin met us there for the movie on the beach they have each Monday night. The Water Island community gets together hangs a big sheet between two palm trees and watches a movie. They sell popcorn, hamburgers and hotdogs and everyone has a real good time with a real hometown feeling. The movie was "My Life in Ruins" it was a cute movie that made me laugh - although inapporpriate at times - it was funny.

Tuesday morning Kristin arranged for Rick to see a Dr. about his foot. He x-rayed it and determined it wasn't broken. He gave him a brace and told him he could walk on it as much as it felt comfortable. Rick started putting weight on it and it was amazing how fast it healed. Little by little he walked on it a more and more until he was walking fine with out his crutches the last weekend we were there.

We did a little shopping and Rick bought me a underwater camera. I had wanted one ever since I had borrowed Kristin's a couple of summers ago. Being there with all this amazing snorkling I just couldn't stand not to capture a few pictures under the sea to take home. So he got me the camera and I took picture after picture. Snorling itself is so fun but taking pictures while snorkling it beyond fun. Turns out I need a lot more pracitce - taking pictures underwater is harder than it looks, you have to swim, hold your breath, stay in one place while the ocean is moving you and snap the picture before the fish swims out of view all at the same time. It is pretty tricky - but a whole lot of fun.

Tuesday evening we went to a resturant on the beach called Iggy's. We had gone there the last time we were in St Thomas and I really liked it. It's not Kristin's favorite but she indulged us. It was a lot of fun. I love eating right on the beach. The food was good - maybe not the best I've ever had - but good. We did a little grocery shopping and went home to look at pictures.

On Wednesday evening we went with Kristin to Young Women's. It was a lot of fun to watch her with the girls. I am really glad we went it was a good experience. It is so clear how much they love her and how much she means to them. They were very cute girls that were fun to be around and touched my heart in the short time I saw them. They played a game to help them be more familiar with the For the Strength of Youth book. It was really good for me to have the review too. There was a couple passages in the book that really struck me as things I could do better in my life and I made a committment to do better.

On Thursday night we went out to a little bay and had a campfire. It was pitch black. We had to find some fire wood and fight off the eeire feeling of being out in the darkness where anyone could jump out. After we got the fire started we had a good time watching the flames, listening to the waves and staring up into the stars.

The rest of the week we pretty much just went to beaches and snorkled and played in the ocean. We did kayak out to a island called Little St. James. That was a lot of fun too. I was a bit nervous to kayak in open ocean waters but it proved to be no big deal and a lot of fun. There was great snorkling on Little St. James and it was a great experience. The one thing we could have done better on that afternoon was reapplying the sun screen. Rick came home with quite the burn that really bothered him the rest of the trip. I came home looking a little red but even though Rick and Kristin insisted I was burnt I knew better. By morning my back was no longer red but a deeper brown and didn't hurt at all. It takes a lot to burn my skin - if it does get red it goes brown really quickly and rarely hurts. I have been burnt bad enough to peel a couple times in my life and that really hurts - so I am glad I have the skin I do.

On Friday Rick and I took the car ferry over to St. John and checked into Cinnimon Bay to camp for the night. We went snorkleing at Cinnomon bay and around Waterlemon Cay that afternoon. It was wonderful. Some of the best snorkling I have ever seen is around Waterlemon Cay. We went back to our campsite and cooked dinner and then got ready to drive down to the dock to pick up Kristin who was riding the people ferry over. We got in the car and turned the key and nothing. The battery was completely dead. We scounged around and borrowed some jumper cables found someone willing to help jump us and still nothing. The car was going no where. By this point I was absolutely frantic. My phone had no reception I knew Kristin would be getting to the island in any minute and no one would be there to get her. I didn't know what to do. I was stressed out of my mind worrying about her. Turns out it was silly to worry about her she made it through a much more adventureous day flying to St. Croix then anything we could throw at her. We finally found a phone and got her cell. She took a taxi and after having the taxi driver forget about her she made it to camp.

So that night we went down to the beach at Cinnomon bay and walked along the beach. It was completely dark. The beach at night is a little eerie and a lot amazing. Looking into the water we noticed little sparkly things lighting up. It was the little bioilluminest things that are in Puerto Rico. We had all gone on a tour and seen them before. They are amazing - if you haven't seen them for yourself there is really no way to describe them or capture them in a picture. It is kind of like lightening bugs in the water they light up when something agitates them such as the wave crashing on the sand, a fish swimming by, or your hand moving through the water. We watched them for a few minutes and played in the surf until the magic of the night, the pull of the moonlit water, and a little peer pressure conviced me I couldn't live without a little midnight swim. I've heard it described as swimming through stardust - and it definately lives up to that description. The little blue-green lights sparkling in the water are so enchanting I threw all propriety to the wind and leaving my clothes on shore I dove right in. It truly was amazing.


The next morning Kristin made her way into town and bought a battery while Rick and I went for a little hike. I love the "jungle" feeling hiking on the island gives me. I find all the trees, plants, vines and little chirping noises so enchanting. The heat and humidity aren't on the top of my list but even that adds to the experience we came back dripping wet and ready for a dip in the ocean. Rick installed the new battery and we had some lunch and headed back to find a beach or two before we had to catch the last ferry home.

Sunday we went to church in Kristin's branch - I very much enjoyed it also. It was a lot like the Tortola branch as far as the comments and spirit of the meeting. It was fast and testimony meeting and I came away being strengthened and enlightened. Rick flew out that evening and Kristin and I went down to watch the waves and ocean crash against the rocks. The power of the ocean never ceases to amaze me. I love watching it and hearing the sound of the crashing water and the white foam the wave leaves behind as it retreats. Kristin and I had a nice chat and I once again marveled at how wonderful and strong she is. I look up to her immensly.

Monday morning Kristin and I got up and sunrise and went to Megan's beach for one last swim. I had yet to capture a turtle on my camera so we went with this purpose in mind. It was a beautiful morning with the light just coming up. We saw several turtles and took lots of pictures. I swam along next to a turtle marvling at the thought of it. Here is was swimming with a turtle, I touched its back I watched its little fippers move through the water, his little head go in and out. I loved it.

After our swim we got ready and I dropped Kristin off at work. I went back into town and did a little shopping wandering around through the little shops and tents. I went back to Kristin's office to see if she was free to drive me to the airport. It turned out she had patients she needed to see so I drove myself to the aiport found the enterance this time and got myself all checked into my flight. It was hard to say goodbye- I felt like I was leaving a part of me there but at the same time I vowed to myself that I would be back. I love it so much I can't not go back and I also really really need to take my children there - or somewhere simular and share that with them. I know that someday they will see that kind of thing for myself - maybe I am just a bit selfish but I need it to be with me. I need to be the one to show that to them. I want the islands and the ocean to be something we do together as a family.

I will admit it -I love being there and I loved being there without them. I loved not being a mom for a minute. But my heart ached for them all at the same time. I thought of them constantly - and the biggest thought was how much they would love this and how I wish I could share this with them. But like I mentioned before Rick and I needed that time together without them. When they are a bit older we will bring them - but for now a trip alone is good for all concerned.

The plane ride home was a bit hard. I missed the kids and longed to see them, I missed the island and dreaded going back to the snows and darkness of Utah. And I was suprised by how much I missed Rick. It hadn't even been a whole 24 hours but the longing to see him was fierce. I almost missed a connection when I had to run across the aiport take a train to another terminal, go through security again and then once again run through the airport to my gate. Luckily the held the plane for me but I was a mess running through the airport with my 50 lb carryon with a broken handle bumping along behind me - I hadn't even stopped to put my shoes back on after security. I was dripping with sweat and fighting back tears as I made my way onto the plane with everyones eyes on me as I tried to heft my incredibley heavy carry on into the overhead compartments with my arms shaking. But I made it.

I guess the airport men moving my luggage didnt' run as fast as I did because my bags didnt' make it - they were delivered the next day. I called Rick during my next layover. I asked him if they had left a car for me to drive home. I had been praying that someone would pick me up - but I was getting in so late I didn't want to be a bother. He said either he or my mom would be their. I was so relieved. I got in about 11:30, Rick was there to pick me up. We arrived home about 1:00am. I went in and peeked at my sleeping children. After the tropical warmth I was so freezing I thought they must be too, so I got extra blankets for them all and left them to sleep till morning. I went in and fell into bed dreading waking up to real life but yearning to hold my children again.