The Ups and Downs

There have been some definite ups and downs this week. I have felt like I was on a roller coaster ride. Happy one minute and in grouch land the next. Maybe it is just pms or maybe it is just life. Who knows, who cares.

My hard working husband has been hard at work. A LOT. Midnight has come and gone several times this week while he has been plugging away doing whatever it is he does. It has been really really tough on him, which is really tough on me. I have a hard time seeing him so stressed. He is always so strong and on top of things it is kind of scary to see him so down. All this work also necessitates long hours at home for me. As much as I love my kids, too much of a good thing can be not such a good thing.

On Monday we took our car to the shop, it wasn't going into fourth gear. We have owned the car for about 18months and this is the 3rd time it has had transmission troubles. The nice mechanic told us it would need a new transmission and since they didn't do that we should see the dealer. The dealer is who "fixed" it the first two times. We were told they could fix it and it would be covered under the power train warranty with just 100 dollar deductible. I personally would rather it be fixed under the "we did a crappy job, and didn't fix it right the first time" warranty for free. But the dealer didn't agree. Well $100 is one thing but I was beginning to have some anger issues when they mentioned they would have to order the part and it would be ready for us Friday. All week with one car, I am not good at sharing. But share we have, Friday came and went with no car. Apparently the part they need is in Denver and the freeway out of Denver is closed so they can't get the part till at least next Tuesday so it will be ready Thursday or Friday. We have had a bit of snow this week, maybe Denver has too but enough to close the freeway for a week. I don't think so. Of course the closure may not have been weather related. It could have been a huge accident or a nuclear blast or something but then we probably would have seen that on the news. Anyway, whatever I keep reminding myself a week or two without a car never killed anyone.

Last weekend my baby said her ear hurt. She said it once and had a hard time sleeping that night. The next morning she was happy as a clam and said her ear was all better. All week she has had periods where she just sits on my lap and cries and acts sick. She has run a fever on and off. I didn't have a thermometer so I was just using the hand method of temperature taking and I would have called it a low grade fever. Well she got much worse on Friday so I searched our 72 hour kits for a 1st aid kit and found a thermometer. I took her temp under her arm with her fighting and it was still 103, so much for my low grade diagnosis. It has been in the 102-104 range ever since. But she promised her ear or throat didn't hurt. So I took her to the Dr. Friday evening. He said her ears were clear, throat was fine, breathing good she looked excellent except she had a temp of 102.7 on the Tylenol. We were puzzled.

When we were getting ready to go the Dr. I took her to the bathroom and noticed the skin around her vagina looked very red and puffy (just on one side) It looked really weird to be honest. I thought she was probably laying funny or something. I mentioned this to the Dr, he took a look and said, "Well we found the problem", she has an infection. I am not sure what kind, it is not a uti and I don't think it is a yeast infection, I am just not sure what it is. The infection is spreading up into her abdomen. 1/2 of her pelvic region is very red and swollen. It looks like someone drew a line right down her body and colored on one side, the other side looks perfectly normal. Weird huh. Anyway the Dr put her on amoxacillion and finally today it looks improved. She really had no symptoms besides a fever.

Last week the weather was beautiful, the sun was shinning the tulips were breaking through, the daffodils were opening and I was feeling happy to be alive. This week it was cold, and rainy or snowy all week. Saturday it got niceish again just to turn into a blizzard today. I am way sick of winter.

I got succored into being a soccer coach for my first grade daughters team. I swore this year I wouldn't do it. Ten "we are desperate for coaches" calls from the rec office later and I am the coach. We play 8 man soccer, I got a team with 8 girls, 2 of which have never showed up to practice 2 of the 6 who have come have asthma and can't run more than a couple of minutes without coughing up a lung. This week we practiced for 1/2 hour one day before the girls were shivering so hard they couldn't talk, so I called it a day. I cancelled the next practice since the field was covered in snow. Our games start next week, I feel like we are doomed.

So a week with no husband, no car, and no sun would be a tough pill for me to swallow. But add a mysteriously sick baby, a failing soccer team and a 3rd grader with a dirty mouth and I almost reached the breaking point. But luckily I didn't break. Just like it always does when I feel like I can't do it any longer something happens to lift me out of that hole. A couple things this week.

First of all I got to go out to dinner with my friends. I love to do this. I absolutely love this. It gives me a much needed rest away from the stresses and pressures of my life. There are no children, no husbands, no dirty dishes or stacks of laundry. I get to unwind, eat really good fattening food, and laugh and talk like a silly teenager again. It really is fun and does me a world of good. We go out about once a month usually but we skipped last month so I was really needing it. So that was a lifesaver.

Before going out to dinner we met at one of my friends house, while waiting for everyone to arrive I went inside and spent about 1/2 hour in her house. She is one of my best friends I really like being with her for a lot of reasons. One of which is her life is much harder than mine, while that may be a pretty tacky and callous thing to say, it is true. (That is probably the smallest reason - she really is great). But a half an hour in her house made me count my blessings, and this week I needed a little blessing counting.

On Thursday my husband decided to surprise me and come home early from work. Not just early like 6 or 7 but early like 3. It was amazing, I was shocked when he walked through the door. So we decided to go out. I called my sister in law Tess and asked her if she could spare a couple of hours to come and watch the kids. She readily agreed just like she always does and came and watched them. I was reminded how lucky I am to have the family I do. I have wonderful brothers, and sisters (in laws included) who have never been anything but kind and supportive. Each one of them is the "bend over backwards to help" kind of people, I am very blessed to be part of this family. Tess is my newest sister in law. She fits in so beautifully. My kids, especially my baby, lover her. In fact my baby watches out the window for her all the time even after I tell her, Tess isn't coming today. If ask, my baby will always tell you that Tess is her best friend. We are very blessed to have Tess and Kevin live near us. They are not just family they are friends.

My perfect husband took me to the temple on Thursday. A date to the temple isn't always top on my list. Not because I don't like being there but because we get so little talking time as it is that I usually like to spend every second of our dates talking his ear off and you can't do that in the temple. But I think the stress of the week left me feeling so overwhelmed and inadequate that I needed a little more than a fun evening out with my favorite person. I needed a good reminder of what it was all about. I was reminded.

We did sealings. I thought about my week, then I thought about the women I was representing. They were wives and mothers just like me. But instead of a just a hard week every now and again like I have to endure, they had lived their whole life and then waited for a century or more without the same sealing blessings I have enjoyed my whole life. My little stresses paled in comparison. Being with my family is the greatest gift I can ever hope to have. They are my next breath. Without them there would be no reason to go on. I imagine these women feel the same way about their families, especially one women who stood out to me. The joy and peace she must have felt at finally being sealed to her son must have been overwhelming. It must have been, because I felt it and it was for me. I count it a great privilege to have played a small role in that and to have caught a tiny glimpse of her joy. I came home renewed, refreshed and reminded.